Forever Hold Your Peace
by Sarah1281
Summary: There's something to be said about timing and Nessie really wished she'd realized she was in love with Jacob more than a few weeks before he announced his engagement to someone else. She had two choices: ruin his happiness or grin and bear it. Blackwater.
1. Bombshell

Forever Hold Your Peace

Chapter One: Bombshell.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Note: I've seen so many stories where Nessie, either intentionally or not, destroys Jacob/Leah and stories where they can be together because Nessie's not interested. I thought it would be interesting to do one where she _is_ interested but trying to do the right thing.

My name is Renesmee Carlie Cullen and I am in love with Jacob Black.

There, I said it. I sound like one of those humans at an AA meeting. I've never actually so much as gotten drunk before so I certainly don't know if I can even become an alcoholic but given that I'm physically perfect in every other way, I kind of doubt it. I'm not looking to test that theory, though, because for all I know I'll live forever and that's quite a long time to be battling an addiction.

By 'physically perfect', of course, I mean that I have never had any acne, never had any scars, no birthmarks, no awkward stages, no muffin-tops…nothing that would make me anything less than a super-model at every stage of my life. Most people would say that that sounds amazing and I'd agree if it weren't for the fact that I look eighteen at the ripe old age of seven.

Fortunately I'm not mentally seven or my life really would be a horror story because I can just imagine the kinds of trouble someone who looks like me and who is mentally seven would get into. In eleven years or so, I'll probably be grateful that I am what I am; now I look at the children born around the time I was and think of what should be. I should be learning how to write in cursive right now. I should be thinking that boys have cooties and reading the Baby-Sitter's Club and watching the Disney Channel.

The thing is that I really did like all of those things at one point…for a couple of weeks or months. Nowhere near as long as I should have and far earlier than most do. I guess that while the fact I kept changing so rapidly made raising me difficult, the fact that it was over far sooner than it should have been made up for that. I just sort of feel cheated, I guess. Seven years have come and gone and now I'm going to stay exactly like this for the rest of my life. I suppose that I should be thankful that at least I'm going to remember my childhood – such as it was – unlike certain family members I can mention. Maybe one day I will be.

The biggest reason that I wish that I could have aged normally is that Jacob Black and Leah Clearwater have just announced that they are getting married and if I were really seven I wouldn't care. If Quil was marrying Leah then Claire wouldn't care. She's only ten, after all, and is only starting to doubt that boys were icky. If I were normal then by the time that I was old enough to develop any romantic feelings for Jacob, his marriage would be a done deal and I'd just have to accept it.

It would make everything easier.

I guess this is life's way of making up for the fact that I don't have normal people problems.

"Well?" Jacob asked, anxiously. He's been avoiding me all week and now I know why. He wasn't quite sure how to break the news to me but I guess he's finally worked something out.

I glance over at Leah. She's nervous, too, but she's doing a better job of hiding it. It's not like she really cares if I approve or not, she just doesn't want me to say or do anything that would cause the man who imprinted on me to change his mind.

My first instinct is to tell Jacob that I _absolutely_ don't approve and that he should be with me and not this other girl. I had honestly not seen this coming and I probably should have.

Leah and Jacob have been dating for the past three or four years and they…it feels weird saying that they asked my permission before dating but they really did. Jacob came to me and told me that he wanted to be with Leah and I told him to do what made him happy. I was physically about Claire's age then and it didn't bother me in the slightest.

I wonder if that's why they've held off this long on getting married. I mean, I'm hardly an expert on human courtship (and even though Jacob and Leah are both werewolves – kind of – the fact that it's not an imprint makes it very close to human courtship) but it seems kind of…convenient that they decided to get married after I've been physically mature for awhile. Were they waiting to see if I'd suddenly change my mind about Jacob and want him for my own once I hit maturity?

Well…those fears were well-founded, I guess. A little while after I hit maturity I did realize that I was in love with him.

It was fall of last year, I remember. I had just come back from South America because my parents firmly believed that it was important to spend time with others like me and Nahuel had been the one to save me those seven years ago. It was always a little awkward with Nahuel even though he liked me…no, pretty much because of that. Nahuel is extremely handsome but he is also over a hundred and fifty years old.

Age isn't supposed to matter to a vampire, or a half-vampire, and my own parents are decades apart. My father might be younger than this half-vampire that's interested in me but I know that if my mother had had her heart set on him she wouldn't let a _millennia_ of age difference come between them.

Maybe in the future, I'll feel like that, too. Right now, though…I still feel so _young_. I'm only seven, after all, so I suppose that'll go away in time. Until then, though, the fact that Nahuel would have – had he lived in America – lived through the Civil War is a bit off-putting.

When we went – Mom and Dad and me – we offered to let Jacob come with us. We always offered since he didn't like to be separated from me. As always, Jacob declined. It wasn't that he didn't _want_ to go, he just didn't want to leave the pack either. I always supported his decision to live up to his responsibilities and that helped, I think. He said that it's easier for me to go away for weeks at a time now than it used to be. I'm glad he seems to be building up some sort of tolerance to my leaving. My mother says that back when I was first born he was almost obnoxious in his desire to hold me at all times and I know I would have resented that cloying affection growing up and even now that I'm in love with him.

I'm not sure how Jacob knew that I had come back so quickly because we had run instead of flying. He was waiting for me right by our front porch and after I dropped my things off in my room I went for a walk with him. He was shirtless, of course, and I was wearing a light blue sundress.

We were walking through the leaves and he asked me about my trip so I told him how I was paradoxically fascinated with and repulsed by Nahuel. He was laughing at a particularly amusing story about my mother confronting him about his 'intentions' when I looked over at him and I just suddenly _knew_.

I wonder if this, regular plain falling-in-love, is anything like imprinting. I don't think that I fell in love all at once, of course, it must have been slowly growing as I remained blissfully unaware until the knowledge snuck up on me one day. Jacob said when he imprinted on me it was as if all that ties that bound him to the world fell off one by one but he wasn't left connectionless for long. I became the center of his everything.

It didn't last, of course, otherwise what would he be doing dating Leah?

I shouldn't think that way. I don't feel it's particularly healthy for someone's entire being to be focused on one thing. Sometimes I worry that my parents are a little too concerned for each other but it makes them happy and they're both far older than me so it's really up to them how to manage their relationship. Still, I heard something about being comatose for four months and that is _really_ worrying.

Jacob imprinted on me and Leah has imprinted on nobody, which is more than fine with her. He chose to be with her and she chose to be with him right back even knowing that one day he might leave her for me. Even though Sam had already done the same for Emily. One thing I never had to worry about growing up is that he'd hurt me if I rejected him because I'm not like Emily. I'm not some frail and fragile human but a half-vampire that could hold her own if it ever came to that.

Not like it ever came to that because as it turns out _he's_ the one who doesn't want _me_. Not that he's rejected me, of course. In fact, from what I understand of imprinting all it would take is one word from me before this whole wedding business would be off and he'd be at my beck and call.

The problem is, of course, that while I do want that I don't want it to be like _that_. He loves Leah because he wants to and because he chooses to be with her. If I forced him to end it then he'd hate himself. He'd never say a word about it to me but I'd know, just the same, because I know him. He'd be with me but it wouldn't be by choice; it would be because destiny told him to.

I love Jacob and I want him to _want_ to be with me. I know how important choices are to Jacob. That's why he split off and formed his own pack, after all, and now that it's all merged into his that's how he runs the pack. He almost never uses the Alpha order. I want to say that he _never_ does but I really don't know. I won't take his choice away from him. I love him too much for that.

And then, of course, there's the fear that it may not work. I may tell him to stop and he may go on and do it anyway. He's always been almost stupidly defiant, after all, and I can't help but think back to Sam and Emily. They're hardly the poster children for an imprint couple for all that they've been happy as long as I can remember. Emily turned Sam down and he couldn't take not being with her so much that he tore half of her face off. Jacob is so fine with not being with me that he went ahead and made other plans. I know that some say that it's just because I don't – didn't – want him that way but Emily didn't want Sam and yet he still wanted her.

I had my chance, I guess, somewhere in there. It's a little hard to tell where since I was too young to even be interested, let alone date when Jacob and Leah got together. But still, to let them be together and build a life for three years only to break them up at the altar? How could I do that? If I really loved Jacob, how could I do that to him?

And Leah! She may be less important to me than Jacob but I've _always_ respected and admired her. She's like my Aunt Rosalie, in a way. They're both tough and independent-minded woman that I could look up to as a child. They may not be the nicest of people but they can take care of themselves and don't need someone else swooping in to save the day the way my mother always did back when she was human. I suppose that being saved wouldn't be _too_ bad if you knew that someone would always be there but it seems a bit risky to leave up to someone else when you can just do it yourself.

I'd like to think that Leah doesn't totally hate me, even if she is worried I'm going to steal her fiancé away from her.

"Have you told anybody else about this?" I asked, my voice calm and measured.

Jacob was staring at me so intensely that he actually jerked when he heard my voice. "What? Oh, no. We wanted you to be the first to know in case…well, it just felt right."

'In case', huh? Well, I could translate that well enough. In case I ruined things. It hurt a little to think that he thought so little of me. Then again, my first impulse was to do exactly that so perhaps it was a wise precaution. I've never been a particularly impulsive person but it was better to be safe than sorry, better to wait and tell me first rather than letting everyone know and then having to cancel it because I couldn't face reality.

"So I'm the first to know?" I asked rhetorically. I smiled. I didn't mean it but I caught my reflection in the mirror behind them and it looked genuine. Good. "Congratulations."

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	2. Angry Almost In Laws

Chapter Two: Angry Almost In-Laws

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

When I got home I saw that evening, my entire family was in the front room staring expectantly at me. It wasn't really a surprise; Aunt Alice might not have been able to see what happened as she's never been a werewolf or half-human but my father could see what happened in my thoughts long before I got in the door. And of course he'd share it as well, trying to save me from having to do it. I suppose I really should be grateful.

"Hello," I greeted them with a nod.

"If you need me to kill him for you, just say the word," Aunt Rosalie told me immediately.

"Kill who?" I asked innocently.

"The mutt," Aunt Rosalie said matter-of-factly.

"I don't want Jacob killed!" I exclaimed.

"Maimed?" Uncle Emmett asked hopefully.

Aunt Rosalie smiled at him. "It's _so_ nice to have a supportive husband. It's almost a relief that that isn't going to happen if the mutt is going to go and pull a stunt like this."

"What stunt?" I demanded. "He's just getting married."

"And he isn't getting married to _you_," my mother said delicately. "That's the problem."

"I wasn't aware that he was under any obligation to," I said as neutrally as possible.

"Oh, I was _so_ looking to plan out your wedding!" Aunt Alice said ruefully. "It would have been beautiful."

"Admit it; you've had it all planned out for years," Uncle Jasper teased.

"It never hurts to be prepared," Aunt Alice insisted. "Especially since I wouldn't be able to tell when it was going to happen through the usual means." She caught herself. "Not that that's your fault or anything, Nessie."

Aunt Alice had never quite gotten over the fact that she can't predict my future which led to everyone else routinely involving me when they wanted to surprise her.

"We had all been under the impression that you would one day wed Jacob," Grandpa Carlisle said gently. "It was how we understood imprinting to work. Understandably we're a little surprised by this development."

"But all that matters is that you're okay with this," Grandma Esme spoke up. "Are you okay with this?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked rhetorically. "My best friend is marrying the woman he loves and has been dating for several years. I just know that this is going to make him really happy."

"That's not an answer," Aunt Rosalie pointed out. "I know that you don't want to hurt him but I want you to know that should you change your mind at any point in time – any point at all – then all you have to do is let me know and I'll take care of it."

Despite myself, I grinned. "Thanks, Aunt Rosalie. I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

"Keep me in mind, too," Uncle Emmett requested. "I haven't gotten to go up against a werewolf in _ages_."

My father had been very quiet during all of this. "Nessie," he said finally. "Perhaps your mother and I could speak to you in private?"

I wasn't sure that I wanted to do that. My mother, though initially upset at the imprinting, had come to view Jacob and I being together one day as just another aspect to her happy ending and I wasn't sure if I could take her disappointment on top of my own. My father was, if anything, worse. No matter how well I acted like this didn't bother me, I could never fool him. There were days that I wished I had inherited my mother's shielding abilities instead of the exact opposite.

Still, I nodded and smiled. "Of course, Dad."

Vampire hearing being what it was, if we truly wished for this to be private we'd need to take it outside and so the three of us went for a nice family walk.

"I am so sorry, Nessie," my mother told me the moment she judged that we were far enough away. "I've known Jacob for years and while he hasn't always behaved the way I would have liked, I never thought that he would go and do something so heartless."

"He's not being heartless, Mom," I insisted. "He's getting married."

"Yes but not to _you_," my mother said as if that changed things. As much as I wanted Jacob myself, I knew that he wasn't exactly obligated to do anything of the sort.

"Why is everyone acting like this is some sort of betrayal?" I asked, exasperated. "We were never even dating and he and Leah have been serious for ages."

"Because it _is_ a betrayal," my mother said firmly. "Jacob imprinted on _you_, not Leah."

"He couldn't help that!" I cried out. "Would you force him to marry me even though he doesn't want to?"

"But Nessie, dear, he _does_ want to," my mother argued.

"That really wasn't the impression that I got earlier today," I said dryly.

My mother ignored that. She was good at ignoring the things that didn't fit into her perfect worldview. Sometimes I envied her that. That Jacob might not want me and how Leah would handle being screwed over by fate and by people who were supposed to care about her _twice_ probably never even crossed her mind.

"Nessie, that's really not how imprinting worked," she insisted. "Imprinting isn't about forcing anybody to be with anybody. It just means that you're soul mates and fate is just giving you a little helpful hint about who can make you happiest in the whole universe and vice versa."

It sounded so romantic when she said it.

"If it isn't about forcing him to be with me then why can't he be with Leah?" I asked sensibly.

"Because he promised that he would marry you!" my mother exclaimed.

"An imprint isn't a promise," I argued.

"It wasn't just an imprint," my father spoke up. "Remember your first Christmas? He gave you a hand-woven charm bracelet which was the Quileute equivalent of a promise ring."

I sighed. "You realize that if he had any intention of marrying me at the time then it would make him a pedophile right?"

"Jacob is not a pedophile!" my mother snapped. "I mean, I'll admit that when I first heard about the imprinting I thought that…but I understand it better now. He didn't feel anything romantic towards you then."

"And he doesn't feel anything romantic towards me now," I replied. I tilted my head. "Actually…why in the world would he get me a promise ring if he wasn't feeling anything romantic towards me? Not that I would want him to at that age but it's a bit strange."

"All imprinting that he had seen done prior to imprinting on you, with the obvious exception of Quil and Claire, had become romantic and so he assumed that it would eventually turn romantic with you as well though the thought made him uncomfortable since you were so young," my father explained. "His love for your mother faded away once he imprinted on you and he was no longer able to really see attractiveness in others which he took as a sign that one day you and he would be together."

"He clearly got over that," I said, determinedly keeping the bitterness out of my voice. I had no right to complain, he had asked me and I had told him to do it.

"I didn't hold it against him for dating while you were still so small," my mother confided, "because really, seven years is a long time to be alone, especially at that age. But though it took your father and I awhile to warm up to the idea of you marrying Jacob one day, we did expect that he would live up to his promise."

"What promise?" I asked again. "You can't hold a seven-year-old Christmas present against him."

"Watch me," my mother said determinedly. "The next time I see Jacob, oh…"

"Mom, don't!" I pleaded. "If you push too hard he may not invite you to the wedding."

"There shouldn't be a wedding," my mother countered. "He should be with you. Even _fate_ thinks he should."

"I seem to recall there being a time when all the signs said that you were fated to be with someone else," my father said quietly.

My mother flinched. "That's not the same thing at all. We couldn't let go of each other because of Nessie."

"I can believe that during the pregnancy but before?" my father sounded skeptical. "He didn't imprint or come anywhere close to imprinting on an unfertilized egg. If he did then imagine if our wedding was even one month sooner or one month later."

"What are you saying, Edward?" my mother demanded. "Do you actually condone what Jacob's doing?"

"All I want out of this situation is for my daughter to be happy," my father replied. "You say that you want Jacob to be with her because he is meant to be or promised to be but what if that wouldn't make Nessie happy?"

My mother drew back as if the thought had never occurred to her. "Nessie," she said slowly. "_Do_ you want to marry Jacob?"

I was quiet for a moment. I didn't want to lie to her. I wanted to tell her the truth and have her comfort me about the whole situation but I also knew that if I told her then she would tell Jacob.

"No," I lied. "I'm sorry if that's not what you want, Mom, but I just don't love him like that."

My mother's face softened immediately. "Oh, don't worry about me! I could never be disappointed in you. I guess it's the imprint at work again. You don't want Jacob so you don't have to watch him pining after you. I'm glad you're spared the pain of hurting someone you love like that."

"Mom, do you think I could talk to Dad for a minute?" I requested.

She looked surprised but quickly nodded. "Of course. I should probably get back before Rosalie convinces herself that you secretly want her to go after Jacob for her."

"Why Jacob?" I couldn't help asking. "If she wants the wedding off, wouldn't it be a better idea to attack Leah? Not that I want her to or anything!"

My mother laughed. "She likes Leah more."

My father and I waited until we could no longer hear my mother moving back towards the house.

"You lied to her," he said simply. It wasn't really an accusation, more a statement of fact.

I nodded. There was never any point in trying to lie to him. "I had to."

"She's only trying to protect you," he told me. "We all are."

I resisted the strange urge to pout. "I'm old enough to take care of myself."

"It doesn't matter how old you get, Nessie, because you're still going to be our baby girl, our miracle," my father told me, sounding almost reverent.

I smiled at that, appreciating the sentiment. "Do you understand why I lied?"

My father tilted his head, staring intently at me. "You are afraid of hurting them and you think that you would be forcing him into something he doesn't want."

"Would I be wrong?" I asked him.

"That's not how imprinting works, Nessie," my father said in lieu of answering. "I've seen what Jacob feels for you, what Quil feels for Claire, what Jared feels for Kim, what Paul feels for Rachel, what Sam feels for Emily…"

"Do you feel what Sam and Leah felt for each other, back before they were able to move on?" I inquired.

"It's not your fault that Leah and Jacob chose to get involved," my father said firmly.

"No," I agreed readily enough. "But it _will_ be my fault if I try to destroy them. And it doesn't even matter if I succeeded because it would still hurt them both."

"Fate was the one to make this decision, Nessie," my father insisted. "All you can do is tell Jacob and let him choose. More than likely it will be you but the pain that will cause Leah won't be your fault."

I bit my lip, uncomfortable with just how tantalizing that thought was. The problem with arguing with a telepath, of course, was that they always knew what to say to win the argument. Not this time. "Does he even love me?"

My father said nothing.

"Please, tell me," I begged. I almost didn't want to know the answer. If he didn't then it would only hurt me but it would strengthen my resolve. If he did then I had to ask myself seriously if I was doing the right thing.

"Not…not romantically at present," he informed me reluctantly. "But once you tell him that will change."

"I don't want it to change," I whispered, closing my eyes.

"Yes you do."

"Not if it would be like flipping a switch," I disagreed. "Do you have any idea how artificial it would be? He loves Leah because he fell in love with her, because it happened naturally. If he fell in love with me because I said the magic words then it would be fake."

"The shift in your relationship might be a little sudden," my father admitted. "But that wouldn't make it any less real."

"Why can't you understand what I'm trying to do?" I demanded. "I want to do the right thing here and I just don't see any way that me ruining Jacob and Leah's wedding and destroying their happiness because I want the groom for myself could possibly be considered 'the right thing.'"

"You are his imprint," my father reminded me.

I shook my head. "That's not good enough. It feels too much like I'm controlling him. If it weren't for the imprint then it didn't matter how I felt about him because we would not be having this conversation."

"Perhaps not but the fact of the matter is that the imprint _is_ there," my father pointed out. "Nessie, the reason that I have a problem accepting this is because it's going to make you miserable. It already is."

"I'll get over it eventually," I said firmly. "I'll have to. I can't pine forever."

"So would Leah," my father countered. "Why are you choosing her instead of yourself?"

"Because she's the one that Jacob picked," I declared.

"We don't know everything about how imprinting works," my father said, trying a new tactic. "Maybe he never developed feelings for you because he thought that you didn't have feelings for him."

"Emily didn't have feelings for Sam and yet he still wanted to be with her," I countered.

"No, she did like him a little but she didn't want to be with him out of respect for her cousin's feelings," my father corrected. "That's not quite the same thing."

I sighed. "Him not being able to like me because he didn't think I liked him is too mind-control-y for my tastes, too."

"If you don't tell him then you're not going to give him the choice," my father claimed.

"And if I _do_ tell him then he won't have a choice, either," I argued.

"Even if that were true, why is one lack of a choice any better than another?" my father challenged.

I hesitated before answering, trying to work out how to phrase it. "Because if I told him then I think he would have to choose me. Without me in the picture he could have chosen anyone in the world. It wasn't a case of just deciding between me and Leah. He had a choice and he made it."

"Still…" my father trailed off.

"Tell me something," I requested. "I know that you left Mom once for her own good."

He winced almost imperceptibly. "I came back. It wasn't what she wanted."

"I know that she didn't handle that well," I continued. "I know that she just wanted you back but I also know that that's when she really started to hang around with Jacob. I know that she loved him, too. What would you have done if she had found happiness with Jacob? What if she still missed you but was happy and alive and human with him? If you knew that the moment you appeared back in her life she'd leave him for you? That wouldn't be any choice for her but would you have done it so that she could be happy and still keep her soul?"

Silence. For a moment I didn't think that he was going to answer. It was an intensely personal question and under normal circumstances I never would have brought it up but this was important. I had to make him see.

"Yes."

"It's not quite the same," I said softly. "But I am determined to do this. Please don't make it harder. Please don't tell anyone. Please don't tell _him_. My good intentions can only go so far."

"Very well, Renesmee," my father said solemnly, nodding his head. "You have my promise. I hope you know what you're doing."

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	3. The Request

Chapter Three: The Request

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The next day, Leah stopped by. My relatives – including a very reluctant Aunt Rosalie – had all agreed not to say anything but that didn't stop the growling that began the moment she got close enough to the house for my father to detect her presence and inform us of it.

I'll give Leah credit; she did a wonderful job of ignoring all of the hostility. She merely rang the bell, waited until I answered the door, and invited me to lunch. I figured she probably wanted to talk about the wedding and that my house would be the absolute worse place to do so and so I accepted.

She took me to a buffet restaurant I'd been to on a few occasions. I dislike human food but unlike the rest of my family I can eat it so I picked out a small plate of salad and two pieces of fried chicken while Leah's plate was unflowing with food and I knew from experience that she had only just begun. Even though we all (including the people working there if the look on their faces when Leah walked in was any indication) knew that she'd end up eating half of the food on the buffet, restaurant rules insisted only one plate per customer so she'd need to go back for seconds.

We made small talk for a bit until Leah looked very seriously at me and asked. "Are you absolutely sure that you're okay with this?"

I was tempted to ask what she was referring to but Leah can't stand it when people play dumb and putting her in a bad mood would not make this conversation go any better.

"I said that I was," I said evenly.

"Were you telling the truth?" Leah demanded.

"What's with the third degree?" I countered. "I wasn't aware I had a history of lying to you."

Leah sighed. "You don't, I know, I just…do you know that it took six months for me to agree to date Jacob in the first place?"

I shook my head. "I did not know this." I wonder why Jacob had asked permission after she had already said yes as if it were the other way around it probably would have done more to convince her to go out with him.

"Well it did," Leah confirmed. "I didn't want to date a guy with an imprint or a guy who hadn't imprinted but could at any minute because I didn't want our relationship to suddenly end the minute the imprint batted her eyes at him. He really wouldn't stop pestering me about it, though, so I finally gave in and somewhere along the line we fell into a relationship."

"How romantic," I deadpanned.

Leah laughed. "That's what Sam said. The fact that he didn't approve kind of made it better, to be honest. He actually asked me to marry him two months ago."

"And you were just sitting on this information?" I inquired, surprised. I didn't see how that could be since they couldn't keep secrets phased and they said I was the first to know.

Leah shook her head. "No, I only agreed about fifteen minutes before we tracked you down, just to make sure. I love Jacob, Nessie, and I want to marry him but I would rather call this whole thing off now than have you run off with him on my wedding day."

"Do you really think I would do that to you?" I asked, unable to completely keep the hurt out of my voice. If I were going to put a stop to things – or try to – then I wouldn't be so cruel as to put it off until the last minute and lull them into a false sense of security.

"My cousin Emily and I made a pact when we were, like, ten after watching one too many movies about friends fighting over a guy that we'd never let that happen to us," Leah said in lieu of answering my question. "We spent at least an hour working out every possible scenario we could think of for the two of us liking the same guy and who would get him or if both of us had to back off. I never expected her to marry a man who was dating me until he met her but I'm _told_ that imprinting works differently."

"Leah, Jacob and I have known each other since the day I was born," I replied. "Neither of us is just going to wake up one morning and decide that we're in love. I promise." It was true. I had confirmation from my father who wanted me to end up with Jacob that he didn't love me currently and that wasn't liable to change without a confession from me that wouldn't be coming. I was already in love so a change of heart on my part would only make this easier. I felt that that was unlikely but then it felt like my feelings would _never _change and given how long I'd live, I knew that to be highly unlikely. We don't all end up with our first crush like my parents did. Well...like my mother did. Who knows what my father got up to as a human? Certainly not him.

Leah stared me straight in the eye for a long moment, trying to gauge the veracity of my statement. It made me uncomfortable but still I stared unflinchingly back, hoping that she wouldn't see anything that I didn't want her to. At last, Leah – apparently satisfied – nodded and broke eye contact.

"Good," she said. "Now that that's out of the way we can move on to the hard part."

I laughed incredulously. "You were asking me if I was _quite sure_ I wasn't planning to steal away your groom and that was the easy part?"

Leah made a face. "I know, I know, but it really was."

"I'm not really sure that I want to hear whatever the difficult part is," I told her honestly.

"And I really don't want to say it so I am going to stall," Leah announced.

"Does stalling work if you just announce that you're going to do it?" I wondered.

Leah nodded. "Oh, absolutely if neither party wants to talk about it. And I have an excuse anyway; I need to go get thirds. Do you want anything?" she asked almost as an afterthought.

I smiled politely and waved her off. I hadn't quite made my way through my single plate yet. Uncle Jasper always says that it's ridiculous that it takes me longer to eat then it takes any of them considering that I can actually digest the food and even taste it while they have to force it down and regurgitate later.

As Leah loaded her plate with far more food that was intended to fit on it, I tried to figure out what, exactly, Leah could possibly have to talk to me about that would be more awkward than the 'are you out to ruin my wedding' conversation. That, and the other conversations I had recently on the matter, was probably the most awkward conversation I'd _ever_ been involved in. Well, not excluding the time I'd asked about imprinting or how people reacted to finding out about me since no one thought half-vampires were possible. I really didn't take it personally that half of my family wanted me dead and the only reason Jacob hadn't killed me was because he imprinted since it was all out of concern for my mother and before they had even met me but boy did they choke on their words when telling that story.

A terrible thought occurred to me. Leah clearly hadn't been satisfied with my claim that I wasn't going to try to steal Jacob from her the first time so what made me think that she believed my insistence this time? What made me think that no matter how many times I told her that it would ever be enough? What if she were here to ask me to stay away from Jacob, at least until the wedding, so that she could be absolutely sure that nothing got in the way of their relationship?

It wasn't really an unreasonable request, if I was being honest with myself. It wasn't like Leah would be trying to exclude an ex-girlfriend who was still friendly with Jacob or just a close female friend, she didn't want her intended's soul mate to stick around and tempt him away from her. It was perfectly reasonable and, logically, I couldn't blame her for it. Would I be able to do that? I…I honestly don't know. I'm standing aside and keeping my mouth shut about my feelings so that he can get his happy ending. Isn't that enough? Now I can't even have the consolation of having him in my life at all? Why can't Leah just trust me? I'm not Emily and Jacob isn't Sam. He knows what he wants and he's fought for it for years.

I looked up as Leah set her plate down and a grape fell off her plate and onto the table. As Leah sat, she plucked the grape up and popped it into her mouth. How could she stand to eat so much? More than just needing the extra food because she was sort of a werewolf, Leah and the others really seemed to enjoy eating and I will never understand that. Do I just not taste things the same as they do or am I the world's pickiest eater? Even Nahuel likes some foods but I haven't really hit upon something I like. Then again, it's not like I've tried very hard to find something. "Nessie, this isn't easy for me to say. This might offend you and if it does let me apologize now but…"

"But?" I prompted, hoping to sound far more calm and indifferent about what she was about to say than I actually was.

"Jacob wants you in the wedding," Leah told me. "You're his imprint and it's really important to him. We talked about it and decided that it would make the most sense for you to be a bridesmaid. Will you do it, Nessie?"

I blinked, absolutely floored. That…had not been what I was expecting, to put it mildly. I don't usually enjoy being proven wrong. Of course, it so very rarely happens. I felt guilty for doubting her. My very existence imperils her relationship and yet she's being nothing but understanding and here I am getting paranoid about her. Really, it should be the other way around. It might actually be the other way aruond but if it is she really isn't acting like it aside from asking if I'm sure about this. I'm as sure as I'll ever be but I wish they'd quit asking. "You want me to be a bridesmaid?"

"I totally get it if you don't want to do it," Leah said quickly. "I just thought that I'd ask. I mean, Emily asked me to be her maid of honor since we'd agreed to do that way back when we were kids and I told her to go…well, it took me awhile to come around to the idea."

"No, I'd love to!" I assured her. I'm not entirely sure if I really want to be a part of this wedding but if they're making an effort to keep me in Jacob's life despite the awkwardness my being his soul mate presents then I'm hardly going to snub them for it. And while everyone would know why Leah wouldn't want to be in Sam's wedding, what possible non-'I'm in love with Jacob' reason could I possibly have for declining? If I didn't want them to know then I would have to go through with this.

"Really?" Leah looked momentarily surprised before smiling at me. "That's great. Jacob will be thrilled."

"I do have one question," I admitted.

"Ask away," Leah invited.

"There hasn't actually been a wedding in my family since my parents got married nearly a decade ago," I explained. "So I'm afraid that I'm really not all that clear on what it means to be a bridesmaid…"

I could – and probably would – do some extensive research on the subject as well as consult with Aunt Alice who was undoubtedly a wedding expert (with all the dressing up and parties involved she would almost **have** to be) but it would still be useful to hear what Leah expected from her bridesmaids.

Leah shrugged. "Well…Maid of Honor Emily will be involved with the wedding planning but the other bridesmaids will need to be there when we're picking out the bridesmaid dresses – which you'll be expected to pay for, by the way. There will be a few fittings to attend. Then there's the bridal shower, the bachelorette party, and the wedding rehearsal. Seems pretty simple, really."

I nodded. "I think I can do that. Who are the other bridesmaids?"

"Emily, of course, and Jacob's sisters – but Rebecca won't be flying in until the rehearsal – as well as Kim and Angela," Leah answered. "Quil wants Claire to be there but she's far too young so we're making her the flower girl instead."

"When is the wedding?" I asked.

"August 9th," Leah told me promptly. "We're probably going to end up having it outside if the weather's nice."

"It's never nice in Forks," I pointed out. "That's why we live here."

"Well, comparatively nice," Leah amended. "Not raining nice. Surely we can hope for that. It's not like we're expecting California weather."

"If not I will personally help you beat up the rain god," I said with perfect seriousness.

"Is there a rain god now?" Leah wondered.

I shrugged. "With any luck, we'll be able to work out our frustrations with the rain on our search for him. And when it eventually stops raining, we'll know that we successfully managed to intimidate him."

Leah grinned at me. "You know something, Nessie? I like the way you think."

"So is the rest of my family going to be invited?" I asked. "I know that the wedding will probably be on the reservation and I know that, truce or not, most of your tribe isn't comfortable with vampires."

"Jacob wouldn't hear of Bella not being invited and Bella wouldn't hear of attending without Edward," Leah replied. "Not to mention that my brother might actually cry if your father didn't show up and once we've got those two attending we might as well have everyone show up. Besides, I figure there's a fifty percent chance that should either of your parents try to stop the ceremony, the rest of your family will stop them."

"Only fifty percent?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"There's also a fifty percent chance that they'll help," Leah informed me. She paused. "And, I guess, a fifty percent chance that they'll just sit and watch."

"So that's a hundred and fifty percents' worth of possibilities," I noted.

Leah made a face. "Nobody likes a know-it-all."

"Not that I'd know for sure, of course, but I'm fairly certain that you learn to count to a hundred in kindergarten," I said innocently. "And I know that that's not quite the same as addition but once you know that fifty is the halfway mark you can pretty much just figure it out from there."

Leah tilted her head. "Is that so? Huh."

"I don't think my family will cause any trouble at the wedding," I assured her, hoping that I was right. Sure, they told me that they wouldn't do anything but I also knew that if they WERE planning something then they definitely wouldn't have told me about it in advanced. Please don't let my family's well-meaning attempts to protect me ruin everything... "If nothing else, it would be horrible manners so my grandparents and Aunt Alice wouldn't let them."

Leah tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Now there's a thought. Appeal to their sense of wanting to seem well-mannered. Do you think they'd be suspicious if put a footnote on the wedding invitation reminding them that sabotaging weddings are bad form?"

I pretended to think about it. "Just a little, yeah."

"What if I put that on _all_ the invitations?" Leah pressed. "Lord knows that Paul probably needs the reminder. Jacob might even have to break out the Alpha order on this one."

"Are weddings usually this…complicated?" I asked uncertainly. Chances are I'll attend dozens of re-weddings of the members of my own family and if it was then I really didn't understand why they kept going through with them. Maybe Aunt Alice bullied them into it so she could plan them? I really wouldn't put that past her.

Leah snorted. "They are at La Push. We almost had to reschedule Paul's wedding because Jacob 'accidentally' lost him at the bachelor party."

"Accidentally, huh?" I repeated skeptically.

Leah nodded innocently. "Yes, that's exactly what happened _and_ why Quil and Embry are on 'don't lose Jacob' duty at their bachelor party."

"Is anyone going to be on 'don't lose Leah duty'?" I inquired.

Leah shrugged. "I highly doubt that Paul will be there and frankly I can take any of the girls but if it makes you feel any better then you can feel free to make sure I don't drink so much that I wander off into a ditch. You don't drink, right?"

I shook my head. "I hear alcohol tastes terrible."

Leah rolled her eyes. "You think everything tastes terrible."

"And let me tell you, it saves a fortune on food," I said serenely.

"As if you need it," Leah muttered. "And it can't be legal to raid the blood bank for a snack all the time."

"Hey!" I protested. "I almost _never_ do that anymore. And we always make sure to donate heavily to hospitals to make up for that, anyway."

We fell into a comfortable silence.

"So are you _sure_ that you're okay-" Leah started to say.

"Are you going to keep asking me that?" I demanded, cutting her off.

"Probably," Leah admitted. "I just don't want to be blindsided here. I know that right now you don't intend to do anything but should you change your mind…if I'm left at the altar then we _will_ have problems no matter _how_ perfect fate thinks you'd be together."

I nodded. "Fair enough. But I do reserve the right to print up business cards assuring you that it's fine and handing them out when it even _looks_ like you're thinking of asking me that."

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	4. A Day on the Town

Chapter Four: A Day on the Town

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Whenever Jacob and I went to Seattle, we always somehow ended up at the Woodland Park Zoo even though we never plan it that way.

In order to save time and gas and just because we could, we ran all the way there from Forks. We raced, of course, and he let me win the way he always does. He'll never admit it but I can tell because Jacob's faster than Seth and yet it's always much closer with him. I've always loved running with Jacob. Despite the fact that the rest of my family and all the other vampires who have passed through here hate what they call the 'wet dog' smell – even if they're used to it by now – I've always found it comforting, found _him_ comforting.

Jacob used to go hunting with me when I was smaller and he was trying to teach me to go after animals, and which ones to go after, instead of the far-tastier humans. Up until that point, I'd been fed a steady diet of pilfered donated blood, even while still in the womb. I've heard that the taste of blood is repulsive to humans (though I, of course, wouldn't know) but my mother suffered through it anyway for my sake. My mother can freely admit that she wasn't always exactly the most selfless of people but she's always been selfless where I'm concerned, selfless to the point of death. Even though she wanted to be a vampire more than anything – except having my father's child – she still risked me killing her before anyone could turn her and that means the world to me.

Sometimes I feel a little guilty about all the stolen blood because I wonder if the fact that I needed it, that it took me so long to wean myself off of it, prevented people who needed a transfusion from getting one. I'm sure Carlisle wouldn't have done that, though, and I know that blood can only keep for so long.

We'd make a strange sight, me and him, if we were moving slow enough for people to really be able to see us. An absurdly beautiful teenager and a wolf the size of a horse. Seth and I have a running joke where we compete about which of us is an odder friendship, him and my father or me and Jacob. I maintain that since my very existence is such a rarity that an entire army of vampires needed proof before they'd believe that I was what I was, I should win. Seth seems to think the imprint takes away a lot of the strangeness factor because it was inevitable that we'd get along so he and my father win. Jacob and Dad always pretend to be above it but Jacob's got a mean competitive streak and I know that Jacob brings that sort of thing out in my father, which they both deny has anything to do with my mother.

The first thing we did when we arrived in a nice secluded area (after I handed him the bag of clothes I'd been carrying and he dressed himself) was head off to the Starbucks. We didn't hit just _any_ Starbucks but the world's first Starbucks, established in 1971. It's located in a historic district with design guidelines which I've always thought would be very annoying for the residents but it also gives you the feel that you're stepping out into the pages of history.

Grandpa Carlisle always tells me that it's a good thing to love history like I do because soon I'll be living it. I was only born in 2006 so things haven't really changed _that_ much but one day I'll be looking back on this time the same way my father might look back on the 1920s or Uncle Jasper might look back on the civil war. The members of my family, with the exception of my mother who is only 27, have lived and breathed history for decades now. They'd go to a place like the original Starbucks and remember their own past, not some ancient history.

Jacob ordered a black coffee to try impress me but I saw him mixing in cream and sugar when I returned from the bathroom. I didn't let him know I saw, of course and let him go on thinking that I thought he was the type to like his coffee plain. I'm really not sure why that's supposed to be _better_ because I've tried coffee before and I hate it.

Jacob always rolls his eyes when I tell him this and says that I'm hardly objective because I hate food in general, a fact that continues to astound all of the werewolves. I retort that that may be so but I still prefer a heavily sweetened coffee to a cup of the plain kind if I had to choose. He tried to explain the appeal but I'm pretty sure I still don't get it. After all, liking black coffee because it tastes bad and thus people tend not to like it really makes no sense whatsoever. Seth agrees with me on this and always makes his drinks almost absurdly sweet.

Since I'm not even remotely a coffee fan, I got a hot chocolate which – while not great – I like better than anything else they had. Jacob teased me for a bit both about getting hot chocolate in May and about not ordering a 'real' drink. It didn't matter, though. I almost liked it and it was a lot simpler than any of the other drinks that were there. I didn't use to think so but there really is such a thing as too many choices.

Once we were finished with that, we headed over to the art museum. Jacob's a good sport about these things but I know that they don't interest him nearly as much as they do me. We looked in on the porcelain pieces: plates, cups, urns, vases, ect but we didn't stay long. Between Jacob and I, there isn't a lot we can't destroy but most things have the decency to at least _look_ less breakable. The fragility of those dainty objects is kind of unnerving.

We attempted to understand the modern art on display and complained loudly about how nothing made any sense and 'real' art was dead like we had any idea about the subject. We did agree that throwing paint at canvases was not art but it did sound like fun so we'd need to do it at some point. One of the pieces was just so bizarre that I wanted to take a picture of it even though there was a very clear 'no photos' sign right beside it so I had to wait at least twenty minutes for the room to be empty before I made Jacob stand guard and I snapped my illicit photo. I'll tell you, he is the _worst_ guard ever; he can't even keep a straight face. Apparently he doesn't take my completely rational fear of being caught, having the picture deleted, being thrown out of the museum, and being banned not only from this museum but every museum in the area as well as being put on some 'do not allow in your museum' list as seriously as I do. Come to think of it, I had only gotten as far as being thrown out of the one museum before he agreed to keep watch.

We admired the Olympic sculpture park and debated which sculptures would be the easiest and the most fun to climb before checking out the feature exhibit and goofing off in the gift shop until it was time for lunch. Jacob bought me a post card despite the fact that Seattle was close enough for us to go on a day trip. I googled how far away it was once and came up with 140.81 miles but it was Yahoo! Answers so who knows how accurate that information is?

For lunch Jacob made sure to take me to a steakhouse so I could have something cooked rare and almost enjoy it. He, like the other wolves, prefers buffets but they generally don't have anything I really like there (or quality food in my opinion but I have been told that I can be a complete snob sometimes which I guess comes with all the wealth) and Jacob is a bit more concerned than the others about my preferences. He made up for the lack of a buffet with one of those bottomless appetizers and I can tell the waitress was really regretting that aspect of it when he'd gone through seven refills before the food came out.

Seattle is the right next to Exotic Meats USA and it supplies a lot of restaurants in the area so Jacob had two kangaroo patties, alligator tail sirloin steak, and some ostrich sausage links because he always likes to order the strangest things he can find while, as per usual, I was skeptical those things were even on the menu. I chose to go the more traditional route of the black bear loin chop. Well…I thought it was more traditional given that I often hunt them in the wild although I'm sure that to a human our lunches were equally bizarre.

We went to the waterfall garden because it's supposed to be absolutely picturesque and we stood around talking about how pretty it was for about ten minutes before getting bored and going to check out the Seattle Space Needle. Jacob looked longingly at the Sky City restaurant but we'd just eaten so we walked right past it.

Instead, we went all the way to the top of the "O Deck" and tried to see if we could see our houses from there. I will freely admit that I couldn't, but Jacob insisted that he could even see that his brother-in-law Paul had borrowed his car without asking again and was driving it way too fast through a residential area. I'm not sure whether I should trust his superior werewolf eyes or if he just knows his brother-in-law that well. It occurred to me that one thing the wedding would do would be to give him a brother-in-law he could actually stand but I really didn't want to think about the wedding (by unspoken agreement, we'd someone managed to avoid talking about that or about Leah all day) so I suggested a game of I-Spy instead.

Needless to say, we both cheated. Now, I normally don't approve of cheating and I hadn't even been aware that it was possible _to_ cheat until I started playing with Jacob but I've discovered that it's a lot more fun doing it that way. If you spy something that's in a completely different direction than the one you look then the person you're playing with is unlikely to get it and once they catch on, you abruptly switch back to things in your line of sight. Spying something, say, round or small also makes it harder to guess. Sometimes we can't even tell what they are from up in the sky and so the guesses are something along the lines of 'is it that blue blobby thing?'

When we'd finally finished with that, we had wandered around the town a bit with no clear destination in mind and eventually ended up at the zoo. I don't really remember how old I was the first time I had come to the zoo but I do distinctly recall the fact that this was shortly after I had agreed to be a 'vegetarian.' I had seen some of the delicious-smelling animals and had tried to climb into their habitats to have a snack so I had to be restrained…with four different animals. I'm not sure why they didn't just take me home but at least they managed to prevent me from doing anything that couldn't be covered up.

Jacob warned me not to eat any of the animals the same way he's been warning me ever since the first time. We have a lot of traditions like that, things we've been doing since the very beginning. On one hand, it always makes me nostalgic and I do like it but on the other it makes me wonder about how he sees me. I know that he doesn't seem me in a romantic light and I'm dealing with that but I'd still rather not be thought of as a child even if I _am_ technically eight. Sometimes I'm tempted to ask my father about that but other times I'm not so sure that I want to know.

We got ice cream and went on the carousel which marked the third time that day I'd had to ingest human food. I always end up doing so when I'm around the werewolves while I can quite happily go months – or even forever – without ingesting anything but blood. It makes them uncomfortable, the lack of food thing, and so I do it to try to put them more at ease. We made sure to stop by the habitats of the animals that we'd eaten for lunch which I always thought was a rather morbid thing to do but that Jacob seemed to get a kick out of. I felt a pang of thirst when we stopped by the bears but I'm more than old enough by now to know better than to attempt to sample any zoo property, particularly in the middle of the day.

The tropical rain forest has got to be my favorite since I absolutely love the monkey exhibits. I'm always a little disappointed that the zoo hasn't taken the advice that Seth and I keep sending them about adding a dolphin show (our next step is to start an internet campaign) but I still like looking at the penguins. We – and by 'we' I mostly mean me – always try to hit all the other exhibits we want to see before we stop by the wolves because whenever we go there, even if it's our first stop, it always ends up being our last stop as well.

"Jacob, are you _growling at them_?" I asked incredulously.

Jacob started and glanced up at me. He really was beautiful. "No…"

"Because if you were, you know that they probably can't hear you from that far away, right?" I continued.

Jacob nodded. "Of course not. Growling at them would just be silly." Well, at least he's willing to admit to that even though it's not going to stop him in the slightest. That's one of the things I love about him, actually, but that's no reason not to give him a hard time about it.

"_And_ since you're not actually a wolf right now you really wouldn't sound properly intimidating," I pointed out.

"Are you saying that these wolves wouldn't see me as a threat?" Jacob demanded with mock outrage.

"I'm saying that I don't think they're even aware of your existence," I replied simply.

Jacob clutched at his heart as if he'd been stabbed. "Et tu, Nessie?"

"It's not all that bad that they don't know if you exist," I tried half-heartedly to console him. "After all, they're just a bunch of wild animals, not the pretty girl who sits next to you in biology."

"It's the principle of the thing," Jacob said stubbornly. Of course it was. If it were about anything else then we wouldn't be having such a ridiculous conversation. "No one likes to be ignored."

"Would you rather they look at you like you're dinner?" I asked him. "Because if they did know you existed and were at all interested in this fact then you can bet that's how they'd see it."

Jacob nodded. "As a matter of fact, I would. But how they'd think that _I_ was dinner…must be some stupid wolves."

"You look like a human," I pointed out. "A ridiculously tall and well-muscled human but a human all the same."

"And even _vampires_ can smell that I'm not so, like I said, stupid wolves," Jacob said, shaking his head. "Um, no offense."

I laughed. "None taken."

"But seriously, I mean these wolves are only maybe a third the size of me when I phase," Jacob said dismissively. "No, make that a third the size of Leah when she phases. Or wait! A _tenth_ the size of Leah when she phases."

I rocked my hand a bit and narrowed my eyes to indicate uncertainty. "I think that your first estimate was closest."

"Nessie!" Jacob complained. "Whose side are you even on?"

I rolled my eyes. "Now there's supposed to be sides?"

"Yes!" Jacob cried out, sounding deadly serious.

"Jacob, these wolves aren't even aware of this discussion nor do they have any way of representing themselves so I'm really not sure it's a fair argument," I noted.

"Look, Nessie, it's not my fault that these wolves are so stupid," Jacob said, sounding for all the world that it was perfectly reasonable to expect wolves to be capable of regular communication.

"No," I agreed, "but it _is_ your fault that you're trying to pick an argument by proxy with zoo animals."

"Geez, when you put it that way it almost sounds ridiculous," Jacob grumbled.

"I wonder why _that_ is," I said sarcastically.

"So do I," Jacob told me. "I think you might just have a natural talent for sucking the fun out of everything."

"I do not!" I protested. Even if I really was an extraordinarily dull person, the imprint would ensure that Jacob didn't think so though I'd like to think that Jacob and I could have fun with whatever we ended up doing without that. Still, I used to watch Quil playing hide-and-seek with Claire for _hours _when no one over the age of four is that interested in that game anymore_. _Naturally, by the time that _I_ was four I was well over that game.

"Prove it," Jacob challenged. "Tell me that you think I make a far better wolf than these clowns."

"So wait," I said slowly. "Apparently I'm an unrepentant fun-killer unless I give you an ego boost?"

"I wouldn't phrase it like that, no," Jacob said delicately.

"Well I would," I said crossing my arms.

"Does this mean that you're not going to do it, Miss Fun Killer…I mean, Nessie?" Jacob inquired.

I sighed. "Fine. You're a much better wolf than all of these wolves put together."

"Success!" Jacob cheered, pumping his fist into the air.

I smile as I watched him and tried to pretend that he meant nothing more to me than I did to him. Sometimes, it really was that easy.

"You know that nothing's going to change, right, Nessie?" Jacob asked abruptly.

I nodded. "Yeah, I know." That was actually part of the problem. Things wouldn't ever change.

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	5. Dress Shopping

Chapter Five: Dress Shopping

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Forks wasn't really big enough to have a great selection of wedding dresses so the day that we were to find the wedding dress and the bridesmaid dresses we all headed up to Seattle. Since Leah and I were the only ones who could actually run there, we decided to drive up to Seattle.

Six of us were too much to fit into regular cars so unless we wanted to take two then we'd need to use my family's minivan. Leah, in particular, wasn't really happy with this and she wasn't even aware that we hadn't owned the minivan until I realized that none of the others owned one. Aunt Rosalie was horrified when I said that I needed to get a used one so no one would know I had bought it specifically for this trip and so it was banished to a place of shame in the garage.

It wasn't a bad car at all and it had no problems but it really wasn't quite in the same league as the other cars. I had never been to the bridal story before and not everyone was perfectly comfortable with me so Leah ended up driving.

She wanted to eat the minute we arrived in Seattle, of course, but for once luck was on my side as no one wanted a heavy meal before a fitting so we decided to do lunch afterwards.

"Remember," Leah cautioned us as we walked into the store, "Jacob and I aren't paying for these dresses so let's not pick anything out of anyone's price range."

"You two are paying for _Rebecca's_ dress," Rachel pointed out.

"That would be because _Rebecca_ has to fly in with her husband and kid and that's got to be more expensive than any dress," Leah replied.

"I wouldn't be too sure," Angela said, examining the closest price tag. "This dress is four hundred dollars."

"It's a good thing that it's not a good color for us then," Emily remarked.

I didn't say anything because I was the only member of the bridal party to whom price was not an issue. If I thought they would let me, I would have simply offered to pay for all of their dresses so that they could get something they really liked without having to worry about their budget. I don't understand why they never let me pay for anything; it's not like this is money I had to earn or that it's any great hardship for Aunt Alice.

If I didn't have any money and I had someone willing to pay for things all the time, I would gladly take them up on it so I don't understand why they never do. Are they afraid I'll think they only spent time with me because of my money? I know that they really only spend time with me because of Jacob (except for Seth, I think) so that wouldn't be much different. Why, exactly, is it better to have to go without rather than allow someone else to pay occasionally? Sometimes they act like there's a moral superiority in going without or like it's some issue of pride which just completely goes beyond me.

"I think we should establish what our price range is," Kim spoke up. "I really can't go over two hundred dollars."

"I was doing some research last night online," I told them. "Apparently most people consider a hundred and fifty dollars to be reasonable."

"Can everyone do a hundred and fifty?" Leah inquired.

Everyone nodded.

Even though Rachel is Jacob's sister and they were all involved with werewolves, Leah was the only one I really knew well. The treaty and Jacob's imprint on me might mean that we all had to be at least civil but that didn't mean that everyone was as fond of us as Seth was.

Sam, in particular, had never warmed up to us and he was already a bit overprotective of Emily because of her near-death experience at his hands so we didn't see much of each other. Rachel worked in Seattle so she wasn't even at the reservation most days when I dropped by and Kim was pretty shy. Angela may have accepted the world of vampires and werewolves and even renewed her friendship with my mother but my advanced aging made her a little uncomfortable. Perhaps now that I had stopped aging it would be less weird. Of course, she'd keep on aging while I never did so that might cause problems, too.

Since I was so young, I really hadn't had to deal with _that_ aspect of immortality yet and neither had my mother but we would soon. My motherwould one day have to lead her own mother into believing she was dead, the knowledge of which prepared her for that far better than I've ever been prepared. The only one here who stood a chance of living forever was Leah and I knew she wouldn't.

It was kind of awkward being here with all the imprints and Angela since they had all married the man who imprinted on them and Leah was marrying the one who had imprinted on me but naturally no one said a word about it.

"Hey, Angela, I've been meaning to ask you something," Leah said as we started looking through the dresses. "Why was Embry so interested in the guest list for the wedding? I tried asking him and he became mysteriously deaf. Again."

Angela rolled her eyes. "He wants to make sure that he doesn't accidentally meet any young Native American women he hasn't seen since phasing."

"Suddenly the fact that he asked me if he could bring a bandana seems a lot less kinky than I thought," Leah mused. "Well, good for him."

"It's only practical," Angela claimed. "Since Embry and I are married, ending our relationship for some girl whose name he might not even know and who he's just met would be a LOT more difficult than just dumping me. And can you imagine the kind of woman that would jump at the chance to date a man she's just met and who was divorcing the wife he loved for her?"

"And what's more, can you imagine the things people would have said about any girl who went along with that?" Emily asked quietly. "I mean, I know I heard more than my fair share of it when Sam and I got together and he had broken up with Leah _two months_ beforehand."

"Wait..." Leah breathed, stunned. "Are you **actually** telling me that I had people on my side? How come I wasn't aware of this?"

"Well, as one of the people on your side let me tell you that people _tried_ to be supportive," Rachel told her. "It's just that, well...you were kind of..."

"A bitch back then?" Leah asked, amused. "I understand. It can't have been _that_ bad, though. I mean...you're Emily! Everybody loves you!"

"Not everyone," Emily said grimly. "One person told me that I deserved to have half my face torn off because of what I did to you."

Leah's eye twitched. "Tell me who and I will kill them."

"I know you will," Emily said, managing a smile. "That's why I'm not telling you."

"It is sort of sweet, what Embry's doing," Angela admitted after a moment. "I just wish that every time he met someone we didn't risk him running into his soul mate."

"Well I'm the one who convinced him that since all the imprints but Nessie are from a reservation he really only needed to worry about them and not _all_ women," Rachel said. "And that there was probably a cutoff age for imprinting if this gene theory has any merit at all."

"Could a half-vampire and a werewolf even have a child together?" Kim wondered aloud.

Leah's face tightened.

"Interesting question," Emily said immediately. "If we ever meet another female half-vampire, we'll have to send her Seth's way."

Seth would probably be the best candidate to test that theory. Of course, I wasn't sure whether half-vampires could get pregnant at all, never mind with werewolves. And if they had a child with a vampire, how much vampire would the child be? If they had a child with a human, would the process still kill the mother?

"Don't you dare!" Leah exclaimed.

"Don't worry; soul mates don't _have_ to be romantic, Angela," Kim assured her. "I mean, just look at Jacob and Nessie."

"Here's one," I suggested, seemingly casual, removing one dress off of the rack and holding it up. "I read that pastels are a good choice for bridesmaid dresses."

The other girls examined it.

"It wouldn't clash with any of our coloring," Kim remarked. "And it's a hundred twenty-nine dollars."

"It's a little see-through," Angela said dubiously.

"And not nearly low-cut enough," Rachel remarked.

Angela laughed. "Really, Rachel, I think that the see-through part makes up for the neck-line."

"Yeah, but you just said that you have a problem with that part of it," Rachel pointed out.

"We could wear something under it, I guess," Emily suggested.

We all turned to Leah for the final verdict.

She made a face. "It's _pink_."

"I like pink," Emily said.

"Of _course_ you do," Leah said dryly.

"My bridesmaids dresses were pink," Emily pointed out.

"I remember," Leah assured her.

"You looked stunning in it," Emily continued.

"I may or may not have burned it afterwards," Leah told her.

"She did," Rachel confirmed. "Jake has a picture of Leah dancing around the fire hanging on his wall."

"Leah!" Emily cried out, horrified.

"What?" she asked innocently.

"Those were a hundred and seventy-five dollars!" Emily reminded her.

Leah shrugged. "So? I'm the one who paid for it and it's not like I would have ever been able to wear it again anyway. Besides _pink_."

"Tell us how you _really_ feel about that color, Leah," I urged.

"It's my favorite," she declared dramatically.

"Yes," Kim agreed. "She actually cuts the bridesmaid dress to shreds and then throws dirt on them before setting them on fire when she doesn't like them."

Angela gasped in mock-outrage. "You told me you lost the bridesmaid dress from my wedding!"

"I did," Leah promised, her eyes darting about. "You guys know that if I have pink in my wedding then no one will ever let me hear the end of it, right? I haven't worn pink since…oh, it must have back in high school. Early high school."

"But you wouldn't be wearing the pink," I pointed out.

"Nessie, you've met my guy friends, right?" Leah asked rhetorically. "Do you really think that something like that would matter in the slightest?"

"Seth wouldn't say anything," I told her.

Leah rolled her eyes. "That's because Seth is too nice for his own good."

"Are there any other colors that are off limits?" Rachel asked. "This is really something that would be helpful to know when it comes to picking out a dress."

Leah thought about it. "Well…nothing ugly, of course."

"Leah, why would we pick out something we thought was ugly?" Kim asked reasonably.

"Because it's cheaper?" Leah suggested.

"I don't know, I really think we'd make the sacrifice and spend a bit extra not to look horrible at your wedding," Emily replied.

"But what if it's the only thing in our price range in the entire store?" Leah demanded.

"There _are_ other bridal stores in Seattle," I pointed out.

"Point," Leah conceded. "No white, of course, because I'll be wearing white. Black is too much of a funeral color even though I'm sure you'd all look amazing in it because black is just an amazing color. And this isn't necessarily a color restriction but don't pick out anything that will draw people's attention away from me."

"Well how are we supposed to do that if you haven't picked a dress yet?" Angela inquired.

"I don't know, just don't do something _too_ flashy," Leah instructed.

We looked around for a few minutes, idly chatting.

"You don't want pastels, right?" Emily asked suddenly.

Leah shook her head. "Not if we can find something better. Pastels just aren't my thing."

"It's hard to find something that isn't pastel that also isn't too flashy," Emily pointed out.

"Just tell me what you're thinking of, Emily," Leah requested.

Emily nodded. "Okay. How about something like this?"

The dress she held up was a strapless deep crimson piece and looked like it would go down to about mid-thigh.

"I like it," Leah said immediately.

"Do people usually wear red to weddings?" Kim asked uncertainly.

"No," Rachel replied. "But they wear pastels and you heard Leah's stance on that."

"Well if Leah likes it and doesn't think it's too showy then I'm good with it, too," Angela announced. "She is the bride-to-be, after all, so we should get something she can live with and be grateful she's not sticking us in salmon or something so she can look better."

"I like salmon," I told her.

"I hate the name more than the actual color," Angela admitted. "It reminds me of a fish and why would I want to wear something fish-ish?"

"Fish-ish?" Leah repeated.

Angela shrugged. "Why not?"

"I think fish-esque sounds better," Leah replied. "Or even fishy but that's also too easily a bad pun…"

"How much is the dress?" Kim asked.

"A hundred and forty-three dollars," Emily read off, beaming. "This sounds absolutely perfect!"

"Okay, now that we've got that settled we need a dress for me," Leah declared. "I'm not really a fan of white but my mother will kill me if I don't go with tradition on this. To the bride section!"

Emily took the dress we'd chosen with her so we could show the salespeople once we'd found something for Leah and order our own and we went off to find the perfect wedding dress.

"What kind of budget are we talking about here?" Rachel inquired. "Obviously, your wedding dress is more important than any one bridesmaid dress but we still don't want to bankrupt you or anything."

Leah shrugged. "I haven't really figured that out. Let's just starting looking and if I find something I like, I can worry about the price then."

"Didn't your mother offer to let you wear her's?" Emily asked.

Leah nodded. "Yeah and I know it would save money but still…"

"Still?" I prompted.

Leah made a face. "My mother got married in the seventies and I think that should answer everybody's questions."

Everyone nodded seriously and so though I wasn't quite sure what they meant, I figured I could just ask someone who had lived through the decade when I got home. Probably Aunt Alice since fashion was always so important to her.

"Hey Nessie, my brother said something about how Alice always picks out your clothes for you, right?" Rachel asked. "And never lets you wear the same thing more than once?"

I felt a little embarrassed at how extravagant that must seem to people who lived on a budget. "Well, yes," I admitted. "But we don't waste the clothing! We always donate them to good will after we've worn them." Unless, of course, something happened to them like that time a month or so ago when Seth accidentally exploded a pen on my shirt.

Angela laughed. "I can just imagine. People who go in so that they have something to cover themselves with end up leaving wearing Armani. I love it."

"Why do you ask?" I asked Rachel.

"I was just wondering how she'd feel about you not consulting her about the bridesmaid dress," she answered.

I thought about it for a moment. "I think she'll understand," I said finally. "After all, it wasn't like I picked it out and we all have to be wearing the same thing."

"I don't know how you live with someone who's that much of a control freak," Leah said, shaking her head in bemusement.

"She's not that bad," I defended my aunt. "She just loves fashion so much and has such an eye for it that she gets hurt if we don't wear what she picks out and it's not like any of the rest of us are that particular about our clothing."

"I wouldn't last a week," Leah declared.

"Really?" Kim asked. "Even though they always have really nice, ridiculously expensive things?"

"Not worth it," Leah insisted. "I've seen the kinds of things Alice dresses them in and none of it is really my style."

"Aunt Alice always likes more…traditionally feminine things," I explained.

"Not to mention that I never know when I'm going to need to phase," Leah continued. "My monthly clothes budget is already inflated. Would Alice be willing to deal with that?"

I nodded. "Actually…yeah. Definitely."

"Shredding dresses that cost hundreds of dollars is far too wasteful for my taste," Leah remarked. "It's not even like I'd be able to donate it or anything."

"We'll just have to make sure you don't phase in the middle of your wedding," Kim said.

"I would kill someone if that happened," Leah practically growled. "Probably Paul as I know it's likely to be his fault. No offense, Rachel."

Rachel shrugged. "I knew who he was when I married him."

"Oh," Leah said softly, gasping.

"What is it?" Emily asked, following Leah's line of sight. "_Oh_. Leah, that's perfect!"

"What?" I asked.

Wordlessly, Leah pointed to the dress she was looking at. I had to admit, it really was beautiful. It was strapless – something Leah seemed to prefer – and the bodice had an intricate and elegant silver design climbing across it like vines. The bottom half of the dress was a little poofy but it practically flowed outwards, reminding me a bit of a waterfall and a bit of Kleenexes though I was sure Leah would only appreciate the first comparison.

"I think we've found it," I told her.

Leah nodded. "I hope so. How much is it?"

Kim checked the price tag. "A little over eight hundred dollars."

Leah looked torn. On the one hand, it was clear that this dress was exactly what she wanted and her heart was already set on it. On the other, it was pretty pricey.

"What do you think, Leah?" Emily asked anxiously. "You'll only get married once but still…"

Leah took a deep breath before taking the plunge. "I'll take it."

My father, Uncle Jasper, Uncle Emmet, Seth, and Jacob had a bi-weekly poker game. I never understood why they'd want to play with a telepath but apparently he keeps Seth and Jacob from losing more than they can afford to. I would have to tell my father to make sure that Jacob won big when he came over next time.

It was the only way they'd ever let us help them.

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	6. Unwinding

Chapter Six: Unwinding

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The strange thing about preparing for the wedding with Leah and the other bridesmaids is that it is both a great deal of fun and rather awkward and painful at the same time. I like these people and I don't often get a chance to just hang out with a group of relatively normal people who know about me so it's all very nice. On the other hand, dealing with Leah's upcoming nuptials is all kinds of trying and I just didn't want to deal with it.

When I got home, only Uncle Jasper and Uncle Emmett were home.

"Where's everyone else?" I asked, walking into the room they were playing the Sims in.

"Carlisle's at work, your parents went for a drive, Esme had to hunt, and Alice had a vision of her and Rosalie going shopping," Uncle Jasper explained, not looking up from the screen.

"Or so she claimed," Uncle Emmett spoke up. "No one but Edward would know if she was lying and he had already left."

"You think Aunt Alice would lie about a vision?" I asked, surprised. Why would she?

"What do you think, Jasper?" Uncle Emmett asked instead of answering. "She's your wife, you've known her longest and you know her best. Would she ever lie about a vision so she could drag someone shopping?"

"I can't believe you would ask me something like that," Uncle Jasper said, sounding insulted.

"You know 'yes' would have been so much easier to say," Uncle Emmett pointed out.

"I know," Uncle Jasper said simply before lapsing into silence.

I watched for a few moments as Uncle Emmett's Sim installed a stove in Uncle Jasper's sleeping Sim's bedroom, tried to cook a fancy meal with no cooking skills, set the place on fire, then left the room.

"Oh no, it looks like the fire's blocking the path to the door," Uncle Emmett said innocently. "I wonder if Sims can get horrible third-degree burns or if just touching the fire is enough to kill them."

Uncle Jasper sighed, paused the game, installed a new door on a wall that wasn't covered in flames, and let his panicked Sim escape through it. "If you're that curious, perhaps you should test it yourself."

"That is _so_ cheating!" Uncle Emmett complained. "You can't just build a door in the middle of a fire! You should at least have had him punch his way out."

"Why not?" Uncle Jasper shot back. "You're the one who put a stove in the bedroom a minute ago. Who in their right mind would do that? And with no cooking skills?"

"My Sim was trying to do a good thing and make breakfast in bed for your Sim," Uncle Emmett said virtuously. "It just seemed like that would be easier to do with a stove in the bedroom. I probably should have put a refrigerator in there, too, come to think of it."

"I don't believe you," Uncle Jasper said flatly.

"And that hurts, that really does," Uncle Emmett said sorrowfully.

I noticed something then. "Hey, is it just me or do your Sims look exactly the same?"

Uncle Emmett shot me a look of absolute horror. "Oh no, not you too, Nessie!"

"Not me what?" I asked, confused.

"You all said that I was crazy when I was worried that it would be contagious," Uncle Emmett continued, ignoring me and sounding very much like a conspiracy theorist.

"That's because you were being crazy and it's not contagious," Uncle Jasper helpfully informed him.

"Then how do you explain this?" Uncle Emmett demanded. "Is it my fault? Is it because I left you two alone together?"

Uncle Jasper rolled his eyes. "It's not your fault, Emmett."

"Ah, so you're admitting that it's true!" Uncle Emmett said triumphantly. "I had such high hopes for you, especially considering your friendship with Jacob!"

"I am not admitting anything of the kind," Uncle Jasper insisted.

"Would someone like to explain what's going on?" I requested. "Preferably Uncle Jasper?"

"Emmett is convinced that I am a racist," Uncle Jasper said, sounding slightly annoyed.

"To be fair, you were in the Confederate Army," Uncle Emmett pointed out.

"I was from the South, we were being invaded, and it was a hundred and sixty years ago," Uncle Jasper said, sounding as if he'd had this conversation many times before. "_Everyone_ back then was racist. _Lincoln_ was racist."

"Maybe," Uncle Emmett conceded. "But he also freed the slaves so I'm cutting him a little slack."

"And why am I racist?" I wondered blankly.

"Likely because of Jasper," Uncle Emmett replied promptly. "Although who _really_ knows why these things happen?" He paused. "And also because you think that our two black Sims look exactly the same."

"We always play non-white Sims or else Emmett calls me a racist," Uncle Jasper clarified. "Of course, he usually finds a way to do that anyway so…"

Uncle Emmett shrugged. "I call it as I see it."

"Does the fact that we loaded the same character model so they literally _are _the exact same aside from their outfits count for nothing?" Uncle Jasper inquired.

"Now you're just quibbling," Uncle Emmett accused.

"He's really not," I jumped in. "If it's the same model then that's like getting annoyed that I see two identical twins and I think they look, well, identical."

"I have known plenty of identical twins do just that," Uncle Emmett told me.

I just shook my head in disbelief.

Uncle Emmett looked at me seriously. "I really hope I'm wrong about you, Nessie. Well, wrong as of five minutes ago but right as of before then. I mean, I know that Jasper's beyond hope but you're so young! You can change!"

"I am _not_ too old to change!" Uncle Jasper insisted.

Uncle Emmett opened his mouth.

"And no, that's not an admission that I'm secretly racist, openly racist, in denial about being racist, or in any way even slightly racist," Uncle Jasper continued. "It's just a general statement about my ability to change."

"Are you sure, Jasper?" Uncle Emmett asked skeptically. "You _are_ about a hundred and eighty years old."

"So my age is relevant when I'm being too old to change the views I held while alive but not when considering why I had those views in the first place?" Uncle Jasper demanded.

Uncle Emmett nodded. "I'd say you catch on quick but, well, that's been my position for awhile now."

"That is so hypocritical," Uncle Jasper complained.

Uncle Emmett shrugged. "You shouldn't have let me make the rules, then."

"I didn't _let_ you make them," Uncle Jasper argued.

"Sure you did," Uncle Emmett countered. "When you didn't make them first, it defaulted to me."

"How long have you guys been having this argument?" I asked them curiously, a little uncertain whether or not they were being even remotely serious.

"Well, we've only had the Sims for a few years," Uncle Emmett responded. "But if you're talking about racism in general, then that must have dated back to-"

"The minute he found out that I had fought in the Civil War," Uncle Jasper interrupted. "Which was about a week after we first met."

"But you guys have known each other for _decades_ by now," I protested. "Surely it's not worth it at this point."

Uncle Emmett crossed his arms stubbornly. "Of course it's worth it! If Jasper won't admit to it then how can he change?"

"I thought you said I couldn't change because of my age," Uncle Jasper reminded him.

Uncle Emmett frowned. "That is true. Well, what can I say? I've always been too optimistic for my own good."

Uncle Jasper rolled his eyes. "It's worth it because if I let him win this argument then he'll only get worse."

I watched them play silently for a little while longer before I noticed something rather peculiar about their game. "Why, exactly, are your Sims constantly trying to kill each other?"

"They're not trying to kill each other," Uncle Jasper corrected immediately. "Emmett's Sim is continuously attempting to murder my own. I'm starting to think it's a dysfunctional relationship."

"Too bad they don't have Sims therapy," I remarked.

"Actually, they do," Uncle Jasper informed me. "But as of yet it's only for mental breakdowns not relationship therapy."

"Of course, I've seen that thirty-second therapy and I'm not sure that therapist is really qualified," Uncle Emmett claimed.

"It wouldn't help in this case regardless," Uncle Jasper pointed out.

"Why should they need therapy?" Uncle Emmett asked blankly. "It's quite simple. My Sim is a vampire hunting your Sim."

Uncle Jasper took his eyes off the screen long enough to look incredulously at Uncle Emmett. "No, no he's not."

"Right, and we're just a couple of normal young adults wasting a Saturday playing video games," Uncle Emmett said mockingly.

"Your Sim can eat normal food just fine and hasn't drunk anyone's blood yet," Uncle Jasper pointed out.

"Not for lack of trying!" Uncle Emmett exclaimed. "Maybe he's a half-vampire like Nessie."

"Wonderful," I said brightly. "I could fit into the world of Sims!"

"I'm thinking that my Sim should probably live somewhere else," Uncle Jasper moved. "It just seems safer."

"Then why hasn't your Sim moved out?" Uncle Emmett challenged.

Uncle Jasper laughed. "Because my Sim was the one who bought the house and you're the mooching roommate who won't get a job!"

"Plotting your demise _is_ my job," Uncle Emmett insisted.

"That's really not going to cut it with your victim-to-be," Uncle Jasper remarked.

"Well, good luck kicking me out or getting a restraining order with the state the police are in in this game," Uncle Emmett said, sounding almost sincere.

I shook my head. "Man, and I thought that Jacob's friends had bizarre video game sessions."

Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper turned to look at me in unison, confusion etched over their faces.

"Is there something unusual about our way of playing?" Uncle Jasper asked me.

"Lots of people use cheat codes," Uncle Emmett assured me.

"That actually wasn't what I was talking about…"

"Then what?" Uncle Emmett pressed.

I shook my head again. "Never mind."

"I hate it when people do that," Uncle Jasper complained. "Start a thought and never finished it. It's times like these I wish I had Edward's power."

"Yeah, but be glad you're not Edward," Uncle Emmett told him. "After all, one of these days he will learn far more than he ever wanted to know about Nessie's love life."

"He already knows that about all of us," Uncle Jasper pointed out.

"Yeah, but it's different when it's your daughter," Uncle Emmett insisted.

"Do we have to talk about this?" I asked, vaguely uncomfortable.

"Now, Nessie, nothing is off-topic in this family," Uncle Emmett said reprovingly. "With all our enhanced senses, if it's happening in this house then we know about it. It used to make your father very uncomfortable when he was trying to stay away from your mother."

"And by 'it' he means that he did," Uncle Jasper qualified.

"Not just me," Uncle Emmett claimed. "Alice got in on it, too."

"Alice wanted Bella around because she liked her," Uncle Jasper responded. "You just wanted to annoy Edward."

"You have so little faith in me," Uncle Emmett said sadly.

"It comes from spending decades in your company," Uncle Jasper said dryly.

"I don't think I'd like to be telepathic like Dad is," I said slowly.

"Why not?" Uncle Jasper asked, surprised. "Well, I mean besides the risk of seeing way more of your father's life then you wanted to."

"There's the fact you can't turn it off, yeah," I admitted. "But also the fact that it's just such a big temptation."

"_Temptation_," Uncle Emmett laughed. "You really are Edward's daughter."

"Besides, I'm happy with my ability to show people things," I continued. "It saves me a lot of time trying to explain things."

"If anyone should be complaining, it's not your half of the family," Uncle Emmett declared.

I blinked. "What do you mean?"

"You have two powers, letting people know what you're thinking and getting through your mother's shields. Your mother has shields. Your father can read minds. Alice can see the future, even if it is limited to two species and a bit unreliable. Jasper here can change people's moods and I know he always calms me down whenever he cheats and beats me," Uncle Emmett explained.

"I do _not_ cheat," Uncle Jasper protested.

"But you won't deny that you use your powers on me?" Uncle Emmett asked, one eyebrow raised.

"No," Uncle Jasper admitted. "But if you weren't such a sore loser…"

"Meanwhile," Uncle Emmett continued, ignoring him, "what powers do the rest of us have? Carlisle has almost freakishly good self-control, which is probably the most useful. But you know who has the exact same self-control and who seems to have gotten it easier? Your mother. Then there's Esme. What's her special power? She's really really good at loving things. Yeah, that's one to take to the bank. Rose used to be the most gorgeous creature around but then you came along so that might be _another_ power for you and all vampires are incredibly good-looking. Then there's me. I'm a bit stronger than the others but Edward's the fast one. I'm really not sure how much of that is a power and how much of that is me happening to be stronger than any of you. One of us _has_ to be the strongest, after all."

"When you put it that way, it really doesn't sound very fair at all," I admitted. I know how important looks are to Aunt Rosalie, far more important than they'll ever be to me. Still, objectively I have to admit that I am the better looking one. Sometimes I think that if Aunt Rosalie hadn't spent so much time wishing for a baby and seen me as her miracle then she might hate me for that. "But who even knows how who gets what power is decided? Didn't you guys tell me once about a vampire you once met who had the power to be really repulsive? That doesn't sound like a great one to have either."

"And I think I've now figured out why you keep accusing me of being a racist," Uncle Jasper said triumphantly.

Uncle Emmett shook his head. "No, that's just me thinking you're racist."

"What kind of power would you want, anyway?" I asked curiously.

"The power to eat food," Uncle Emmett said immediately. "Which is a power you also already have."

I choked. "What happened to 'I want a useful power'?"

"Eating is a useful power," Uncle Emmett insisted. "And I miss it. Blood doesn't taste nearly as good as I remember a cheeseburger tasting…of course, now cheeseburgers have no appeal to me since they don't taste like themselves anymore."

"Well they don't appeal to me either," I offered.

Uncle Emmett rolled his eyes. "You're squandering your power, kid."

"I'm not a kid," I objected.

"You _are_ only eight," Uncle Jasper pointed out.

"And I'm also full grown," I reminded them.

"So are dogs at your age," Uncle Jasper retorted. "And you do spend an awful lot of time hanging out with them."

"Only kids object to being called a kid, kid," Uncle Emmett told me.

I frowned. "So…what? Adults who get called a kid just grin and bear it because that's what adults do?"

"No, actually adults don't get in these kinds of situations," Uncle Emmett corrected me.

"So whether or not you're a kid is dependent on whether someone else calls you one or not," I said skeptically.

Uncle Emmett nodded. "By George, I think she's got it!"

"That's good to know, kid," I said calmly.

Uncle Emmett's eyes widened. "That's not fair!"

Uncle Jasper chucked. "She's got you there, Emmett."

"This child is clearly evil," Uncle Emmett complained dramatically.

"How very childish, kid," Uncle Jasper said, completely mature.

Uncle Emmett sulked about that for five minutes or so before pumping his fist in the air in triumph. "Success!"

I started, having not been paying particularly close attention to the game. "What happened?"

"He finally killed me," Uncle Jasper explained. "And all he had to do was set the entire house on fire, remove all the doors and windows, and steal my controller."

"I regret nothing," Uncle Emmett assured us.

I laughed. Sometimes it was nice to focus on what I still had, not what I was losing. Or rather, what I hadn't lost and now would never be mine _to_ lose.

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	7. Bonding with the Bridesmaids

Chapter Seven: Bonding with the Bridesmaids

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

After the fitting, we were all quite hungry so we decided to have a nice lunch before heading back to Forks. By 'we', of course, I meant the others and by 'the others' I mostly meant Leah.

"Leah, are you doing that just to gross us out?" Emily asked, making a face at the food on Leah's plate.

"No," Leah said, confused. "Why? What am I doing that's so disgusting?"

"You're eating rattlesnake," Kim said delicately.

Leah nodded. "Yeah, it's really good. Do you guys want some?"

Emily looked a little green. "Um…no. It's disgusting."

"It actually tastes really good," Leah corrected her. "Not that you'd know because you haven't tried it."

"I don't need to eat something to know that it's disgusting," Emily insisted. "I mean…Rachel, have you ever eaten a booger?"

"Not that I would be willing to admit to," Rachel replied.

"Do you still know that that would be disgusting to eat?" Emily inquired.

Rachel laughed. "I should hope so at this point!"

"Did you just compare my rattlesnake to a booger?" Leah asked indignantly.

"And just how do you know that?" Emily pressed, ignoring her.

"Well…it looks disgusting and it comes from my nose," Rachel said, shrugging. "I figure that anything that my body is trying to expel should not be going back in my mouth."

"Fun fact: this rattlesnake did not, in fact, come from my nose or any other orifice and it doesn't look disgusting," Leah told us. "It looks just like chicken."

"But it's _not_," Emily countered. "It's _rattlesnake_."

"This clearly doesn't bother her," Angela pointed out.

"Well it should," Emily said, shuddering. "Just thinking about it is making me nauseous."

"Then it's a good thing you ordered a salad," Leah said blithely. "Why aren't you going after Nessie, anyway? _She_ ordered lion."

"Hey, leave me out of it!" I requested, half-laughing. It was easier spending time with them outside of the bridal store when I could pretend we were just a group of friends going out for lunch in the city.

Emily glanced over at me. "Yes, well, she's half-vampire so I figure that as long as she's eating some sort of animal that isn't human then we're good."

"I agree," Kim said, nodding. "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Leah."

"I will if I have to put up with this blatant double standard," Leah complained. "She's half-vampire and I'm a werewolf. Shouldn't I be cut some slack since I'm not hunting you all down or something?"

"You refuse to eat in wolf form, though, so I don't think we were even in much danger from you," Rachel pointed out.

Leah shot her a poisonous look. "Why are you even in my wedding, anyway?"

My smile dimmed a little at the reminder.

Rachel grinned smugly at her. "Sister of the groom."

"Damn, that's right," Leah swore.

"Doesn't Seth's have that same immunity?" I asked.

"Yeah, but he's too stupid to use it," Leah complained.

"I think the word you're looking for is actually 'nice'," Emily corrected.

Leah shook her head. "No, I'm pretty sure it was 'stupid.'"

"Not to make matters worse but…aren't you technically not even a werewolf?" Angela asked innocently. "Aren't you really just shapeshifters that happen to take the form of a wolf?"

Leah twitched and I swear I heard growling coming from her direction. "Oh please, if the vamps can still be considered vampires even though they're immune to garlic and crosses, sparkle instead of burn in the sun, and have freaking superpowers then why can't we be werewolves that happen to have control over when we phase?" She glared at me like this was all my fault.

I held up my hands in a gesture of peace. "Look, I don't even know how my father came to the conclusion that you weren't really werewolves. Maybe he's wrong. I mean, he must have read it in someone's mind and maybe they're wrong. You never know."

"Do _you_ think of us as werewolves?" Leah asked suspiciously.

I nodded earnestly. "Oh, absolutely! I tend to think of something like Mystique from X-Men or those Animorph books whenever I think of shapeshifters anyway."

"I suppose that's alright then," Leah said grudgingly.

"But _seriously_, Leah," Emily said, shaking her head and shuddering again. "They have regular burgers here, too, and you like those! I get that Nessie's a picky eater and all but why didn't you just get something normal?"

Leah shrugged. "I was in the mood for rattlesnake. Would you be giving me a hard time if I had gotten what Nessie had gotten?"

Emily hesitated. "I'm going to say 'no' because you did not, in fact, order the same thing so I won't have to prove it and because I do not think you would react well to a 'yes.'"

"Next time," Leah informed me imperiously, "we are ordering the same thing."

I grinned at her. "Next time I'll let you order first," I offered.

"Oh, I see how it is," Emily said, crossing her arms.

"Well, she is the bride," I said reasonably.

"Speaking of," Emily said, taking a sip of her drink. "Leah, would now be a good time to talk about the bridal shower?"

Leah groaned. "Do I have a choice?"

Emily nodded. "Of course you do. You can either have a bridal shower or we can never discuss this."

Leah scoffed. "Please, you would never let that happen."

"Which is why we're going to talk about it right now," Emily said sweetly.

"Why can't this be one of those surprise bridal showers?" Leah whined.

"Because you know me far too well to buy that I wouldn't be throwing you one," Emily said matter-of-factly.

"I could at least be surprised about all of the details," Leah hinted. "And maybe even the date. I could just be sitting at home and then you could tell me to come over to your house or something and then – surprise! It's my bridal shower!"

"Trying to keep a surprise from you is next to impossible given that everyone's one big pack again and you can all read each other's minds," Emily pointed out.

I snapped my fingers. "That reminds me. The other day my uncles were talking about what it would be like to read minds and I know that it's not quite the same thing but when two of you are phased you can read each other's minds. Is the juicy stuff worth the fact you can't help it?"

"I think they can help it by not phasing," Kim told me.

Leah shrugged. "It's something that I'm used to by now, just like I'm sure your dad is used to it. He doesn't have much memory of his time as a human, does he?"

I shook my head. "No, apparently that fades with time." My father didn't mind so much for his own sake but he hated the thought that my mother would forget the start of their relationship together even though she assured him she hadn't forgotten a thing. As Mom was the only person I knew who had no one able to see into her head, I had no idea whether this was true or not.

"You didn't really answer the question," Angela pointed out.

"There are some definite downsides," Leah admitted. "It made things awkward with Sam at first, for one. All of the guys got to see me naked and I had to look at all of them naked. I not only know what every woman at this table but Nessie looks like naked but what she looks like while having sex."

Everyone at the table but me and Leah carefully averted their eyes and tried not to blush.

"It _is_ useful for not having to explain things, though," Leah admitted. "Something like Nessie's power would probably be better since it doesn't really have any downsides but we take what we can get."

"Remember the good old days when we could expect some sort of privacy," Rachel said almost wistfully.

"Vaguely," Leah replied.

I snorted. "No."

"At least it's only one person with you," Kim attempted to console me.

"Yeah, but it's _my dad_," I said as if that settled everything. As far as I was concerned, it really did. "Besides, as long as we're in the same house we know what everybody's doing anyway."

"Can you really resent a lack of privacy if you've never had it?" Emily asked curiously.

I thought about that for a moment. It was true that I'd never had it and unless I elected to move to another continent and avoid vampires then I was unlikely to _ever_ experience it. "Probably not as much as if I were like Leah and had it once before losing it but it's still a little annoying, sometimes. Dad had told everybody that Leah and Jacob were engaged the minute I walked into thought-reading range."

Angela winced. "That sounds kind of obnoxious. I mean, I know that he can't help seeing it but he won't even let you tell your own news?"

"I think he was trying to give them time to adjust since the news came as such a shock," I said diplomatically.

Leah stabbed her chicken-shaped rattlesnake with more force than was strictly necessary. "I'll just bet. Your mother wasn't pleased at all, was she?"

If this were anyone else but Leah I'd probably lie or at least try to soften the blow. She and my mother hadn't gotten along since the day that Leah had called my mother out on all the pain she had caused Jacob in her inability to stay away from me and made my mother cry. _Jacob_ hadn't even been pleased, much less anybody else, but I was glad that somebody had done it even though I knew it wasn't her fault. The fact that my presence was almost compelling them to be near each other didn't change the fact that it was really the last thing Jacob had needed while trying to recover from losing my mother to my father. I couldn't be _too_ regretful about what had happened, though, as if things had worked out differently then I never would have even existed. If my mother had gotten together with Jacob and had a daughter, even around the same time that I was born then it didn't matter if they still called her Nessie or not because it wouldn't be me.

"She was horrified," I confirmed, seriously. "I think she's still hoping that she's just having a bad dream and Jacob's really not marrying you."

Leah smirked. "Too bad she's a vamp and can't sleep then, isn't it?"

"You don't think it's at all a bad thing that Jacob's best friend is against this?" Kim asked uncertainly.

"I thought Nessie was his best friend," Rachel disagreed. "They spend more time together than Bella and Jacob at any rate."

"Is it weird that Jacob's two best friends are a mother and daughter?" Angela wondered.

"Probably if we were normal people," I said, shrugging. "But then again, if we were normal people then I'd be eight and it would _definitely_ be weird."

"Seth's best friend is everyone," Leah said dismissively.

"Quil's best friend is eleven," Emily pointed out.

"And people do think that is weird," Angela countered. "Even considering the imprint."

"Imprinting is weird," Leah considered. "But hey, in the long lines of things that are weird about us, I think Jacob being best friends with a mother and a daughter falls pretty low on the list. The fact that Jacob's best friend's with someone like Bella is significantly higher."

"Not in front of her daughter!" Emily hissed, shocked.

I smiled. "No, it's fine. I understand that they're never going to get along and I really don't need them to."

Leah nodded. "That's absolutely right. And to answer your question, Emily, no I do not need or even want Bella's approval. The fact that she has a problem with it just makes it all the better in my opinion. Nessie's fine with it so what should Bella's opinion matter? She was never happy about Jacob and my relationship and yet somehow we still managed to get along just fine."

"What do you think anybody overhearing our conversation would think?" Kim asked suddenly. "I mean, we're not being exactly subtle about certain sensitive issues."

Rachel shrugged. "To be honest, I think that they'd probably just assume that we were either disturbed or geeks involved in a rather elaborate role-playing game."

"Don't think that I've forgotten that we're supposed to be discussing your bridal shower, Leah," Emily said reprovingly.

Leah sighed. "_So_ close."

"Better luck next time," I said sympathetically. "If it makes you feel any better, at least Aunt Alice isn't planning it. I almost never want to get married ever just to avoid what she'll put me through. No one will give me much information about what she did for their weddings and that's really starting to scare me."

Leah nodded. "I suppose there is at least that…My mother might never forgive me for letting a vampire plan my wedding."

"So do you have any preferences?" Emily asked briskly. "You are the bride, after all."

"I do, actually," Leah replied.

Emily's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Really?"

"Yes," Leah said, pausing dramatically. "I want you to plan everything."

"Not happening," Emily said flatly.

"But I'm the bride!" Leah exclaimed.

"That means you need to have some input in this," Emily said firmly.

"And if I want my input to be leaving you in charge of everything?" Leah asked.

"Then too bad because you need to give me a little more than that," Emily said, not budging in the slightest.

Leah sighed. "Fine. How about we have it on the beach or something? Beach is probably a theme, right? And it's right in our own backyard."

"That would certainly be doable as long as the weather's nice," Emily agreed. "Outdoor events are always dependent on the weather. If it's not then we'll just go out to a restaurant or something, I suppose, and make the restaurant hate us because of the size."

"Well, that was certainly something," Leah declared loudly. "I, for one, have learned a lot. Now, I think we really should-"

"Not so fast," Emily cut her off. "You're not nearly done yet."

"But I contributed!" Leah complained.

"It's not good enough," Emily told her. "Come on. Who are we inviting besides us?"

"We'll have to invite my mother of course," Leah said. "And all of your mother's. Claire and her mother. Just…all the women who are important to any of us in the tribe, I guess. It's going to be at the beach so it's not like we're going to be hurting for room."

"What about my mother?" I asked quietly.

Leah winced. "Damn. I forgot about her."

"We could not invite her?" Emily suggested.

"Yeah but she would probably think she was being snubbed or something and she _is_ Jacob's friend," Leah said, miserably. "She won't be able to come if it's that nice out and she won't be able to eat anything. She probably won't enjoy herself but I think we really will have to invite her."

"If you're going to do that then invite Aunt Rosalie, Aunt Alice, and Grandma Esme as well," I advised. "They can all hang out together and so it would be less awkward."

Leah groaned. "I'm having _four_ vampires at my bridal shower."

"You're having eight at your wedding," Rachel pointed out.

"You're also having one half vampire in the wedding party," Angela added, nodding my way.

"I think I'd almost rather have a hundred vampires there than Bella," Leah said, groaning again.

"As long as they were the animal-eating kind," Kim qualified.

"You don't _have_ to invite her," I pointed out.

"No," Leah agreed, "technically I don't but in the long run my life will be a lot easier if I just bite the bullet and invite her. If she doesn't attend, then it's on her. If I don't even bother inviting her then she will hold it over my head _forever_. And unlike most people, Bella does actually have that long."

That was a sobering thought. While my mother, my father, and the rest of my family would actually live forever barring 'accidents', I might not. The oldest half-vampire I knew was only a little younger than Uncle Jasper and since he had a beating heart then he might die one day. One day long after a human body would give out, granted, but he could still die.

I could still die. One day, centuries into the future, my parents might lose even me to the ravages of time and I'd have no way to know unless by some chance I found another, older half-vampire or that fate befell Nahuel.

That was another reason I couldn't tell Jacob.

Werewolves could live forever if they continued to phase – again, barring 'accidents' – but once they stopped they kept aging as if they had never stopped. Since phasing made them look like they were perpetually in their mid-twenties, they had made two decades of time in which they could phase before people started to get suspicious.

If I told Jacob and he came with me then one of two things could happen. Either he would stop phasing and I would have to watch my lover die or he would stay with me and have to watch everything and everyone around him die while he got to keep me and my family.

I wasn't sure that I could live with either of those fates. It's ironic, seeing as how I'll stay physically young indefinitely, but I think that I'm every bit as terrified of growing old as my mother used to be.

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	8. Wedding Reminiscence

Chapter Eight: Wedding Reminiscences

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

When I got home from the final fitting with my bridesmaid dress in a box in my arms, I was not surprised to be ambushed the moment I walked through the door by my mother and two aunts.

"Let me see, let me see, let me see!" Aunt Alice said eagerly, looking more excited than I could ever remember seeing her. It had been driving her crazy that I had refused to tell her what the dresses looked like. I had been promised by every single member of the family that occasionally not knowing these things was good for her and that she often did the same to them when planning a party.

"Subtle," Aunt Rosalie said dryly.

"Oh, you know you want to see it, too," Aunt Alice said, hushing her and pulling my into the family room.

"I hope that they chose something that looks good on you, too," my mother fretted.

"She's _Nessie_," Aunt Rosalie said, rolling her eyes. "How could it not?"

"Well, all the other bridesmaids are Native American, right?" my mother asked rhetorically. "Nessie, of course, is really pale and the difference in skin tone may mean that what looks good on the others won't look good on her."

"Actually, Angela is a bridesmaid as well," I informed her.

"Really?" my mother looked surprised. She may be friends with Angela again but she was never as caught up with humans as she was with vampires or werewolves. I think she's already subconsciously preparing herself for when they'll die, even though werewolves don't have to live any longer should they stop phasing. Leah already barely phases since she grew her hair out long and doesn't want to deal with the increased fur length. Plus, of course, she's never been happy being a werewolf, not like Seth was. But then, Seth's pretty much happy no matter what happens. "But she's not…"

"She married Embry," I pointed out, "and given all the drama over Embry getting seriously involved with and then marrying someone he hasn't imprinted on when everyone but the Clearwaters have, they've spent a lot of time together."

Hm. I wonder if Jacob and Leah had to face any doubters or critics because they weren't imprinted. I've never heard anyone say anything about Leah imprinting so for all I know, no one expected that. I guess if I didn't want Jacob – or claimed I didn't – then people wouldn't be upset. Who knows? Maybe they'd just be relieved Jacob wasn't marrying a half-vampire. Either way, if people were upset then what could they do? Jacob was the Alpha.

"I'm sure that no one would do that to Nessie," Aunt Alice reassured my mother. "They wouldn't have made her a bridesmaid if they didn't like her and making someone wear something unflattering isn't worth ruining the wedding pictures."

Though my mother and Aunt Rosalie would being more restrained about their desire to see my dress than Aunt Alice was, they both clearly still were burning with curiosity. I decided to be merciful and show it to them. I set the box down on the couch and slowly unwrapped my dress and held it up.

"Red?" my mother asked, surprised.

"Leah doesn't really do pastels," I said by way of explanation.

"You look better in brighter colors anyway," my mother admitted.

"I love it," Aunt Alice declared. "You're all going to look amazing!"

"Nessie will be the loveliest bridesmaid there," Aunt Rosalie declared with pride. "But then, that would have been the case no matter what they were wearing."

Aunt Alice sighed. "You know, all this wedding talk is making me get antsy for the next one I get to plan. Whose turn is it to get married?"

"Is it unusual for there not to be a wedding for, what, eight or nine years?" I asked, figuring they probably wouldn't have had a wedding so soon after my parents' first – and so far only – marriage and with all the chaos surrounding my conception and knowing that there hadn't been any since I was born.

"A little," Aunt Rosalie agreed. "But it just depends on when we feel like getting married. I don't think Emmett and I have walked down the aisle for a good fifteen years or so so after the wedding, if you hurry we can still have it here. If not, then when we move on you can feel free to start planning our marriage right after graduation."

I frowned. "Move on?"

My mother was sympathetic instantly. "Nessie, honey, you know that we can't stay in Forks forever."

"I don't plan on staying _forever_," I told her defensively.

"We can't even stay for very much longer," she clarified gently. "We've already been here for over ten years and that's around when we need to move on. We've all been frozen at an age that we can pass for high school juniors but that means that there is only so long that we can stay before people start to wonder about the fact we look exactly like we did in the yearbook."

"So how much longer do we have?" I asked, a catch in my voice.

"Not very long," Aunt Alice said quietly. "Only a year or two at most. I'm sorry, Nessie."

"Part of the reason we stayed so long was because of how many people in La Push knew about you so you could have a stable childhood," Aunt Rosalie explained. "But now we're going to need to move on. We'll be back in a couple of decades, of course, because Forks is such a convenient spot but I'm afraid that your friends will all be gone by then."

"You can still visit," my mother said, a little lamely. Any visits would be few and far between and it would never be the same, would it? Was this what it was to be immortal?

I honestly had no idea that they had been planning this, although perhaps in hindsight I should have. I wasn't going to be growing anymore and my family hadn't aged in quite some time. Even if we restricted ourselves to the reservation and the house, it was just too risky and not getting caught was the only real rule that mattered.

That did bring up a question, though: how had they expected that Jacob and I could wed if we were going to be leaving? Surely they didn't expect him to leave his pack. Were they going to leave me behind? Was that why they hadn't told me? They didn't know how? I guess it didn't matter now. One more reason that anything between Jacob and I was a bad idea no matter what fate might have thought.

At least Jacob and Seth (and maybe even Leah) would keep in touch.

"Bella!" Aunt Alice cried out, suddenly realizing something. "You haven't had to pack up before and leave, either. This will be just as new for you as it will for little Nessie."

"I'm not _little_," I protested but, as per usual, I was ignored.

My mother forced a smile. "It's alright. I've known this day was coming the moment I decided that I wanted to be a vampire."

"Which was approximately three weeks after you started dating Edward," Aunt Rosalie snarked.

"Are you still annoyed about my decision even after all this time?" my mother asked, exasperated.

"Why would I be?" Aunt Rosalie countered. "You get all the perks _and_ none of the drawbacks."

"You got Nessie, too," my mother pointed out.

"I suppose," Aunt Rosalie allowed.

"Charlie won't be happy to see me leave," my mother said, sighing and tugging at her hair.

"At least he has the Clearwaters," I reminded her. My grandfather's wedding to Sue was the first wedding I had ever attended though I wasn't a part of it.

My mother nodded. "Oh, yes. And one good thing about this whole wedding business is that it means that technically Charlie will finally gain Jake as a son-in-law. Had he ended up with him as a grandson-in-law then that might have taken him even longer to get used to."

"The wedding would have been much more glamorous," Aunt Alice said wistfully.

"Pity the little people and their lack of artistic inspiration," Aunt Rosalie advised dryly.

"My mother," my mother said suddenly. "I haven't seen my mother since the wedding and she has no idea about my being a vampire or about Nessie but I still talk to her on the phone and over the internet. Am I going to need to convince her that I've died?" She didn't look happy about the prospect.

Aunt Alice frowned, considering. "Well, as long as she only hears your voice it shouldn't matter. She'll be dead by the time you're supposed to be old anyway so she won't get suspicious over that. Just as long as you can avoid seeing her it should be fine."

"If you can't get out of arranging to meet, you obviously won't be able to do this and will need to fake your death," Aunt Rosalie added.

"Hm…Maybe I could fake my death on the way down to see her," my mother mused.

"Would that be a good idea?" I asked uncertainly. "After all, then she'll spend the rest of her life blaming herself. 'Oh, if only I hadn't asked Bella to come down to see me, she never would have gotten into that plane…'"

"She would," my mother admitted, sounding almost fond. "Very well. If she ever insists on meeting up with me I'll make sure to fake my death before the appointed departure time so as to make her feel less guilty."

"Nessie, do you think you'll get married anytime soon?" Aunt Alice asked hopefully.

I laughed. "Well, I'd have to find somebody to marry, first. Eight seems a bit young anyway, especially considering that I'll be with them forever."

"Maybe but you can get married as many times as you want," Aunt Alice cheerfully assured me.

I rolled my eyes. "To the same person, yeah. What if I decide that the wedding was a mistake and I want a divorce? If it's been too long since the wedding, would I need to remarry just to get a divorce or after so long could I just assume that the wedding is no longer valid since we should both be dead?"

"That's actually never come up before," Aunt Rosalie admitted. "It would be helpful if you just picked the right person in the first place."

"Then don't rush me," I replied.

"But Nessie, getting married is so much fun!" Aunt Alice exclaimed. "Don't you remember how much fun your wedding was, Bella?"

"No," my mother said flatly. "In fact, I distinctly remember not even wanting a wedding or a party at all."

"She came around," Aunt Alice assured me. "Your father had even offered to turn her into a vampire without the marriage at the end but she wouldn't hear of it."

"Jacob missed the wedding and only turned up at the reception to yell at me about sleeping with your father before I became a vampire," my mother told me. "As such, he really can't complain about my unhappiness over his marriage. At least _I_ haven't even considered killing anyone to stop it nor do I have any intention of harming any future children of his."

"Jacob didn't go to your wedding?" I asked, shocked. "But...he's your best friend!"

"And he was also in love with me at the time and thought that what I was doing was worse than death," my mother explained. She cocked her head. "Come to think of it, so did your father and Jacob's objections didn't help your father's own qualms. It was a good thing he had people watching him as he almost phased right there. I don't think you've ever quite grasped how against this path Jacob was. Fortunately, he's had time to adjust."

"Do you see how _exciting_ our lives were back then?" Aunt Rosalie asked me sarcastically. "And how centered around your parents they were? Thankfully, things have mostly settled down."

"It was their first wedding," Aunt Alice chided gently. "And Bella was still human so it was her chance to say goodbye to everyone and officially join our family. I'm sure your first wedding with Emmett was just as wonderful."

"Even if you didn't plan it?" Aunt Rosalie teased.

"Even then," Aunt Alice agreed, looking almost pained. "Of course, your second wedding was also fantastic. My first wedding was certainly something special. It was actually my first wedding, I believe, since the human me hadn't been married. Not that I would have remembered if she had."

Aunt Rosalie snorted. "_You_ may have had fun. I believe I vowed to never again be your maid of honor or even a bridesmaid."

My mother started looking worried. "I've already promised to be the maid of honor at her next wedding. What happened?"

"It's not that Alice _tries_ to be a bridezilla or anything, she just…everything _must_ be perfect," Aunt Rosalie said delicately.

"Weddings are special occasions that only have every so many years," Aunt Alice said defensively. "What's wrong with wanting it to be perfect?"

"You'd be hurt if I didn't let you plan my wedding, wouldn't you?" I asked rhetorically, already starting to worry a little. I wondered if my worry would dissipate or grow upon seeing her planning Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rosalie's wedding.

"I would be absolutely devastated," Aunt Alice confirmed. "And I would not rest until I found a way to make my tear ducts start working again so I could cry every time I saw you until you changed your mind."

"Well, we have time," I replied.

"I remember my first wedding," Aunt Rosalie said, with a smile. "It might not have been an Alice-wedding but it was wonderful all the same. The last time I had worn a wedding dress I had gone on a massacre so that was a little strange and a potent reminder of what happened but it wasn't all bad. The memories just reminded me how fortunate I was to be marrying Emmett and not…anybody less worthy of me."

Aunt Rosalie had initially been turned so that my father could have a bride. I really had to wonder about that logic. I mean, I know that Grandpa Carlisle's code of ethics dictated that only someone literally at death's door would be turned (an exception was going to be made for my mother but after my birth it didn't need to be) and so there wasn't much chance to get to know the potential addition to our family or to play matchmaker but _still_. They had gotten very lucky that no one they turned had ever rejected our way of life permanently or been crazy or cruel.

Since things didn't work out with Aunt Rosalie, why had they given up after one attempt? Did my father not want to try again? Why had he been willing to try in the first place? And why did anyone think a clear gang-rape victim would be the perfect new bride for my father anyway?

"I'm not sure that I'm ever going to be up for _another_ wedding," my mother said, grimacing. "I mean, I'm ultimately glad that I did it but isn't once enough?"

"Forever is an awfully long time," Aunt Alice said seriously. "My first wedding was wonderful but so was my second and my third and my fourth and my fifth. My sixth will be perfect as well, I just know it. They were all completely different and unique and memorable. Give it time, Bella. When you're older, you'll understand."

My mother made a face. "I'm not a child, Alice. I _have_ a child who is, herself, no longer really a child."

Aunt Alice sighed. "It seems like just yesterday that Edward was running away to Alaska because he was scared me might eat you…"

"Is that supposed to be romantic?" I asked, a bit disturbed.

"Evidently," Aunt Rosalie said, equally mystified.

"Well he _didn't_ and it wasn't just to avoid blowing our cover," Aunt Alice told us. "He could have just stayed away from her forever but he kept exposing himself to her and never really lost control once. I can't even imagine how difficult that must have been for him and _that_ is love."

My mother smiled. "Yeah, it is. Although if you can find a boyfriend that doesn't actually want to eat you, Nessie, then I'll rest much easier. Or not rest, as the case may be."

"I'll see what I can do," I agreed. I didn't actually think that that would be a problem because no matter how much I might like a guy, if I ever learn that he has to consciously stop himself from killing me whenever we're together, I really think it will kill the mood.

"Do you have any idea of what you'd want for your wedding?" Aunt Rosalie asked me.

I shook my head. "I think the first thing to do would be to find someone to marry and go from there."

"That sounds sensible," my mother said approvingly.

"You know, I have been able to see some of Emily's decorations," Aunt Alice revealed happily. "Not everything but from what I've seen, it's very nice."

Since it was very rare that something important involving werewolves managed to slip through into Aunt Alice's visions, I knew that she'd love whatever decorations Emily had chosen as long as she could see it in advance.

I wanted to believe that the wedding would be perfect, however. After all, if my soul mate was going to be marrying someone else then the wedding had _better_ be damn well spectacular.

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	9. Bridal Shower

Chapter Nine: Bridal Shower

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The day of the bridal shower was bright and sunny. This wasn't a problem for me and only a plus for most of the guest list but my mother, aunts, and grandmother really didn't think it wise to risk people seeing them sparkling. They didn't want to miss the bridal shower, however, particularly since I needed to be there and so Aunt Alice managed to round up some sun parasols they could use until they got under one of the party tents. If things got crowded or when they got dark, they'd have a chance to leave and mingle more with the other guests but until then they had to wait for the hungry, the curious, and the polite to come to them.

"Nessie, don't worry about them," Leah said as I glanced yet again towards my trapped family who were chatting amongst themselves. "They knew what they were getting into and they'll be fine. They have each other, after all."

"Yeah but I feel kind of bad," I told her. "Today was supposed to be cloudy and so they didn't know until they woke…well, until the sun came up that it wasn't going to be a good day for this."

"I think it's a wonderful day for this," Leah disagreed. "I love the sun."

"So do I," I agreed. "But it's not really good for my family."

"They could have sent their apologies," Leah told me. "We would have understood."

I actually smiled at that. "See, my mother is hell-bent on being a perfect wedding guest."

" 'Hell-bent', huh?" Leah repeated. "That's a good word for a vamp. Any reason why?"

I shrugged. "Something about Jacob ruining her wedding reception."

Leah nodded. "Oh, I remember that. A little melodramatic of her to say that he _ruined_ it but then, that's Bella for you. And in his defense, he was worried about her suicidal tendencies."

I wanted to protest that my mother didn't have suicidal tendencies but since, strictly speaking, vampires were animated and fortunately preserved corpses and my mother had wanted to be one since practically the start of her relationship with my father, I really couldn't.

"And the thought of her literally being fucked to death by the man who he had lost her to just proved to be too much for him so he had to leave," Leah concluded.

I made a face. "Leah, please! They're my parents!"

"And I am so sorry," she deadpanned. "But seriously, don't you overhear them doing that kind of thing all the time?"

"I don't consciously acknowledge it," I said curtly.

"I suppose I should at least be pleased that this means that your mother has accepted that this marriage is going to happen," Leah mused.

"What's this?" I asked in mock surprised. "Optimism from you of all people? Should I be concerned?"

"No and if you tell anybody about it, there will be blood," Leah promised, her tone serious but an amused glint in her eyes gave her away.

"I like blood," I said innocently.

"Go off and comfort your relatives if you must," Leah said dramatically. "I think they're about to start up Bridal Bingo."

"B-bridal Bingo?" I asked incredulously.

Leah shrugged. "Don't look at me. Emily planned this and she thought it would be _cute_." She looked almost pained at the word.

I made my way to my family who were just sitting down for, yes, a nice rousing game of Bridal Bingo. A lot of people – including Leah – were ignoring the game and staying out in the sun but vampires didn't exactly get that luxury.

"I," Aunt Rosalie declared as I sat down beside her, "hate Bingo."

"What's wrong with Bingo?" Grandma Esme wondered. "It's a lovely game that any number of people can play."

"And you just sit around waiting for them to list off numbers," Aunt Rosalie replied. "There isn't even a pretense of skill and you don't have to do anything but sit around and looking at your board."

"It does give you a nice chance to talk," Aunt Alice pointed out.

"And that's what we've been doing since we got here," Aunt Rosalie complained. "Why did I come here, again?"

"You didn't want to leave me at the mercy of the La Pushians," I helpfully reminded her. Though it was probably not Leah's doing, it seemed like half of the reservation had shown up to the bridal shower: the female half. I could only imagine how crowded the wedding and reception were going to be.

Aunt Rosalie nodded. "Ah, that's right. Of course, now I'm going to be going home smelling like wet dogs."

"Leah's the only werewolf here," I pointed out.

"But all the women who come into contact with the wolves also smell like them but to a lesser extent," Aunt Rosalie explained.

My mother stared wistfully out at the people out in the sun. "I miss the sun, you know. I used to love it growing up in Phoenix. It was one of the hardest things to leave behind when I moved to Forks."

"You have a daughter, a husband who adores you beyond reason, eternal youth, and endless wealthy," Aunt Rosalie replied. "I'm sure you'll cope."

My mother laughed. "Somehow. Oh look, BINGO!"

"Why am I not surprised?" Aunt Rosalie muttered.

I excused myself to go seek out Emily who was standing by the food.

"I hope you can find something here that you like," she said anxiously. "I mean, I know it's not blood and it's not something exotic you're used to hunting like lion or bear but we do have barbecue."

"I'm sure I'll manage," I assured her, smiling. She didn't look convinced so I grabbed a plate and put a rib and a piece of chicken on a plate and took a bite. "See? Not bad for human food."

"Oh, good," Emily looked relieved. I was used to not having things to eat when surrounded by humans but Emily was clearly intent on making this bridal shower perfect.

"There's a lot of food here," I noted. "Did you make it all yourself?"

"I wanted to," Emily answered. "I cook for the pack all the time and God knows that they eat at least three times as much as a normal person. Still, Sam, Jacob, _and_ Leah all teamed up to convince me I'd end up killing myself so we got some of it catered in. I still think I would have been fine, though."

"Why take the risk of being wrong?" I asked.

"You sound like them," Emily complained.

"Well it's a little too late to change your mind," I pointed out.

"About this, yes," she conceded. "The wedding, however, is still in negotiations."

"Why are you so eager to make more work for yourself?" I wondered. "I mean, I'm all for working hard and whatnot but when you've got multiple people worrying about you then maybe it is time to consider slowing down."

"It's only a little while until the wedding," Emily said. "After that then I can collapse if I must."

"But you know people will help you," I pointed out. "I mean, I know Leah doesn't really want to but if it means less work for you then she'd do it and she's not the only one. I'd be happy to help out with this."

Emily hesitated, looking like she was debating whether to share something very important with me. "I know that, I do. It's just…if I do this then everything's going to turn out the way I want it to and I can try to make it perfect. This has to be perfect."

"Leah doesn't care if it's perfect," I said gently.

"I know _she_ doesn't," Emily agreed. "As long as she gets through the ceremony without anyone trying to sabotage the wedding then she'll be happy. She actually asked the preacher to remove the part of the ceremony asking if anyone has any objections."

So it would appear that though Leah hadn't said anything further to me, she was still nervous that I – or someone trying to help me – would ruin the wedding, huh? If this wasn't such a unique situation with no precedent then I might consider being offended. "Do people actually do that?"

Emily shook her head. "Not that I've ever seen but it always happens in movies and TV shows."

"I'd think that if this were a movie it would be Leah bursting in to stop Jacob marrying someone he's being forced to marry by fate rather than the other way around," I mused. "It's much more romantic that way."

"That's what I said," Emily said, nodding. "Leah thinks that people are way too fond of the concept of soul mates to let a little thing like a lack of choice get in their way. I…really don't have much of a leg to stand on when it comes to that argument."

"And that's why this wedding has to be perfect," I realized.

Emily flushed. "Maybe. A little. I guess I've just always been a romantic. When we were little, I always wanted to play house and stage weddings and Leah…well, somehow her houses always had coups and her weddings were interrupted by monster attacks."

"I hope that's not prophetic," I said, a little uneasily.

Emily laughed. "Oh, I know, right? Best not remind her of that. When she was dating Sam, before he phased, I thought that they'd get married someday. I had never met him and they were so young but hearing Leah talk about him and about their relationship…I'm a romantic. Then she went through more than anyone should have to and I just want my best friend to have her happily ever after. I think Sam ending up with me is why it's so important to her than Jacob had an imprint and he chose her anyway."

I knew all of this already. Hearing it from Emily was just reaffirming why, exactly, I was putting myself through this. Some people fall apart when someone they love ends up with someone else. Some people become angry and bitter. Some go crazy and become psycho stalkers. Others try and ignore it and hope that nobody notices. I'm not sure that that's the best way of dealing with it but I can't think of one that's better and it's the one that I've chosen.

"This _is_ a really nice bridal shower," I told her. "Easily the best I have ever been to."

"Have you been to any before?" Emily inquired.

"Everyone really looks like they're having fun," I said quickly, not answering the questions.

"She doesn't," Emily said, nodding towards Aunt Rosalie.

I shrugged. "My mother just won at Bingo."

Emily frowned. "Shouldn't that be a good thing?"

"They have a friendly rivalry going on," I explained. "And my mother was barely paying attention to the game."

We chatted for awhile longer before Emily had to go help Leah with something and I thought I heard someone sneaking around over by the cars. I decided that I might as well check it out and was just walking past the car that I had driven there when a hand reached out and pulled me down.

I glanced at the person the hand belonged to and found myself staring at the predictably shirtless Seth Clearwater. "Hey, Nessie," he said cheerfully, grinning at me.

"Seth?" I asked, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"It's kind of a long story," Seth replied.

"I've got time," I countered.

"Well…I'm not exactly supposed to be here because no guy is," Seth began. "Still, the others decided that by virtue of being Leah's brother, I was the least likely to be killed for crashing, aside from Jacob."

"Is Jacob here, too?" I asked, looking around for any sign of him.

Seth shook his head. "No, he chickened out."

"So if you think you won't be killed for being here, why are you hiding?" I wanted to know.

"I don't want to risk it," Seth said simply. Frankly, I didn't blame him.

"But why do any of you need to be here at all?" I wondered.

"If you had normal taste buds, you'd understand," Seth assured me.

I couldn't believe it. "So you came over here, risking all manner of lectures and rants, in order to get some lunch?"

"You make it sound so juvenile," Seth complained.

"Well…" I trailed off. "Maybe there's a reason for that."

"You suck the fun out of everything?" Seth theorized.

I hit him on the arm. "Stop talking to Jacob!"

"He's my alpha and soon-to-be brother-in-law," Seth said apologetically. "I kind of can't."

I rolled my eyes. "Excuses, excuses…"

"It's not just about food," Seth insisted.

I raised an eyebrow. "It's not?"

"Oh, no! It's about _Emily's_ food," Seth explained. "She always makes the best food and she made a lot of it for today. I wasn't sure how I was going to get any at all, never mind enough for all of us, without being seen but now maybe I won't have to."

My eyes widened as I realized what he was planning. "OH no."

Seth looked at me with the most powerful puppy dog eyes I have ever seen and I remembered why it was that I could never say no to him. "_Please_, Nessie."

I held out as long as I could. "Oh, fine."

Seth beamed at me and threw his arm around me for an impromptu hug. "Thanks, Nessie. You're the best. I'm sorry I said that you sucked the fun out of everything."

"Because it isn't true?" I pressed.

Seth refused to meet my eyes. "Sure, let's go with that."

Sighing and muttering about stupid dogs, I headed back over to the food tent. It took nearly fifteen minutes but I managed to snag three foot trays and bring them back to a grateful Seth who flashed me one last smile before hurrying off lest someone else notice he was here.

I headed back to the party and Angela meandered over to me.

"It's funny but I still feel a little out of place here," Angela said, playing with her hair.

"Not as out of place as _them_, I'm sure," I said nodding towards my relatives.

"They wouldn't have come if they were uncomfortable, right?" Angela asked. She stopped. "Oh, wait, it's Bella. She's always uncomfortable around we humans."

"You sound remarkably fine with that," I said, surprised.

Angela shrugged. "We all have our quirks. I'm just glad she's found her niche. Plus, it's not like I can't see the appeal of the supernatural myself…"

I laughed. "I would imagine so."

"So I've only been around maybe half the time you've been _and_ I'm not an imprint," Angela remarked. "So tell me, do you feel like you fit in?"

"With some people," I said slowly. "The people that I see a lot. All these strangers, though…they keep staring at me."

"Stares are better than pointing and staring. Or whispering and staring. Or outright insulting you and staring," Angela pointed out helpfully.

"That is definitely true," I agreed. "And I can just pretend that they're staring at you."

Angela rolled her eyes. "That's nice."

"Well you can pretend that they're staring at me, then," I invited.

"I don't need to _pretend_," Angela teased. "They already are. All of them."

"Are you trying to make me paranoid?" I asked.

Angela glanced quickly from side to side. "No…"

"Well it's not working," I told her flatly.

"What isn't?" she inquired. "My plan to make you paranoid isn't working because you're not getting paranoid or my plan to not make you paranoid is not working because you are, in fact, getting paranoid?"

"The latter," I replied.

"Good," Angela said cheerfully. "Oh look, Leah's opening the presents. We should probably be here for this."

"What did you get her?" I asked her.

"A gift certificate for Home Depot," she answered. "I'm sure that it'll come in handy sooner or later. After all, they're both werewolves if nothing else and I've learned you have to expect a few holes in the wall from that. Well, that or really strong people being more careful about where they're going but I'm a realist. What about you?"

"_I_ got them a gift certificate for a fancy restaurant in Seattle," I told her.

"What's with the emphasis on the I?" Angela inquired.

I made a face. "Well…"

"Oh, tell me!" Angela begged.

I caved. "Fine. My Aunt Alice was in charge of the gift the rest of the family got her because she's more interested in shopping and gifts than anyone else is."

"That doesn't sound so bad," Angela said uncertainly.

I sighed. "It is when she got lingerie."

Angela burst out laughing. "She didn't!"

I nodded grimly. "She. Did."

"Isn't that more of a bachelorette party kind of thing?" Angela asked.

I shrugged. "Well, she wasn't exactly invited to that."

"And she certainly won't be after this," Angela mused, shaking her head. She grabbed my hand. "Come on. I _definitely _want to see this!"

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	10. Unexpected Support

Chapter Ten: Unexpected Support

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Maybe it was just seeing movies like the Hangover but I had rather been under the impression that bachelor and bachelorette parties involved a lot of drinking, strippers, and possibly a trip to somewhere exotic like Las Vegas. As such, I really hadn't been looking forward to going to this one. The others in the bridal party didn't really seem the sort to be into that sort of thing (well, the female members, at any rate) but they were all looking forward to the bachelorette party and it _was_ a special occasion, after all.

Fortunately, it turned out that Emily – who had planned the bachelorette party – had no such plans in mind. It was all top secret and we arranged to meet at Emily's house at eight. Sam had let us in before dashing off to find Paul and Emily served us a large meal that at least _looked_ very nice, even if I was typically unable to really appreciate it like the others did.

"No one wants to go to a spa on an empty stomach," Emily had explained brightly.

I hadn't been sure Emily's reasons for wanting to surprise us (surprising the bride, maybe but all the rest of us? Were we not trusted to keep a secret?) but the delighted way that the others reacted made me think that Emily just wanted to see the look on everybody's faces when they found out. Emily being Emily, she immediately zeroed in on the fact that I wasn't nearly as excited as everyone else and I was forced to admit my lack of familiarity with spas.

Apparently this news made them all extremely sympathetic and I was promised most earnestly that this would all change very shortly and that I would absolutely love it there, though I was advised to stay away from the massages.

It took us a few hours to drive into town but Emily revealed that our appointment was for the afternoon and that we'd be staying in a hotel for the next two nights and going to the spa again the next day before driving back the day of the wedding rehearsal.

I took the advice to skip the massage and called Seth while everyone else was getting one. My skin is much harder than human skin so that could go very badly, after all, though at least I don't have to worry about a lack of circulation (even if my heartbeat is fast) or a far-too-low body temperature. Seth was very excited about the bachelor party but he wouldn't give me any of the details. He said Leah would find out soon enough when she phased but no need to risk anything before then.

I did participate in the mud wraps even though I didn't quite see the point in getting so dirty but I was assured that this was, in fact, a legitimate spa treatment. I believed them but it didn't do very much for my opinion of spas. Then I got a facial where they put something all over my face and I had to lie still for awhile with cucumbers over my eyes…which I also didn't quite get. We went into a sauna and talked for awhile. Leah and I probably got a lot less out of the experience than the others did but I suppose it was okay. I'm not used to feeling that warm, if nothing else. We spent time in a hot tub and got our nails done for the wedding as well as spending plenty of time relaxing.

Maybe I didn't quite understand some of the treatments they had but it was nice to spend time with the others. Now that I was finally grown up, it was easier to have friends since I wouldn't outgrow them but they would outgrow me sooner or later and so it wouldn't be able to be a long-term thing. Dwelling on what I lost before I even ended up losing it would only make it harder to enjoy the time I had left and was really no attitude to take given how many times I'd have to say goodbye. Once we left Forks, we wouldn't be back again until everyone who had ever known us here was dead. Even Jacob.

Once we got back, we had a few hours until the rehearsal so I passed the time by reading _Sense and Sensibility_. I had seen movie versions for all six of the Jane Austen novels and my mother had been telling me for years that the books were so much better so I was finally giving them a shot. I liked what I had read so far even if the overblown sense of propriety confused me a little. It was a different time. A time, I realized with a start, that Grandpa Carlisle had actually lived through. All of the others were much younger than him (with even Uncle Jasper being born towards the middle of the nineteenth century) but they still were generations apart from me. My mother's not even two decades older than me so we had the closest culture growing up (if you don't count the fact I was raised by vampires and werewolves) and even with her I don't understand her preoccupation with the past or her unbridled joy at living forever. I like history, of course, but I've never felt like I wanted to live it because I've always seen life as only continuing to improve as time goes on. Perhaps one day when all of this becomes the past I'll become more nostalgic and when I see death hit those around me time and time and time again I'll be more thankful that it won't visit me anytime soon.

"Nessie?" my mother said, sticking her head into my room.

I jumped, having been so absorbed by my book that I had barely noticed her coming home.

My mother caught the title of the book and grinned. "So you're finally reading classical literature."

"I've read all of Agatha Christie's novels," I pointed out.

My mother made a face. "Yes, but those are _mysteries_ so they don't quite count."

I frowned at the blatant book discrimination. "I figure that I'm really in no rush."

"There are times when I think that you have entirely the wrong idea about immortality," my mother said, shaking her head in bemusement. "Listen, can I talk to you for a minute, Nessie?"

Strangely, my mother never appreciated being told that we were, in fact, talking right then so I refrained from doing so. She seemed…anxious, I guess, but I wasn't sure why.

"Of course," I said, drawing my knees up closer to my body to give my mother room to sit on my bed. I was the only one in the house who technically needed a bed but the others all went through them regularly nonetheless. Fortunately, I'd become quite the heavy sleeper over the years.

My mother sat down on the bed and just looked at me for several long moments, apparently not sure how to start. "It's been so long since it happened," she began finally, "and memories of my human life are fading. Still, I was introduced to the concept of imprinting as true love. Nothing makes the werewolf happier than the person they imprinted on and as they would do anything to make their imprint happy, the imprint will never have a better boyfriend than the werewolf. They're…two halves of the same soul. They're Romeo and Juliet, Heathcliff and Cathy."

"I'm not sure those two are the best example of a healthy, functional relationship," I objected. In fact, I'm not even certain that Romeo and Juliet were really in love and not just lust. Seth had laughed and told me to never change when I suggested that to him but I would never be sharing that theory with a romantic like my mother.

My mother rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean. They're soul mates and are supposed to be together forever. That was why it…well, it wasn't _okay_, exactly, but why everyone understood when Sam left Leah for her cousin on the first day they met. He couldn't help it. He loved Leah but he was meant for Emily."

"Good for him," I said shortly. As happy as Emily and Sam were now and as Leah and Jacob were, I still got uncomfortable hearing about how that had come to be (particularly the accidental domestic abuse part) and I was worried this was the start of a conversation about why I should stop Jacob and Leah's wedding the day before it was scheduled to take place.

"Imprinting was supposed to be really rare but since there hadn't been any vampires during the previous generation, there were no werewolves and so this was all second-hand. Imprinting turned out to be a lot more common than anyone thought," my mother continued, "and Quil, of course, imprinted on Claire. Since we had all been thinking of imprinting in a romantic sense, this set quite a few people off."

"They seem to have gotten over the scandal by now," I pointed out. "Claire's parents even let him babysit."

"I was horrified at first, too," my mother admitted. "It really did seem like pedophilia to me but I didn't understand. It took testimonials from every single other werewolf, who could see Quil's feelings for Claire when they phased together, that he didn't feel anything romantic towards her. He just wanted to protect her and to make her happy. We all assumed that one day their feelings would turn romantic but who knows, now? You and Jacob didn't develop romantic feelings for each other. Maybe it's just a fluke or maybe it won't happen when the werewolf has such a big role in raising you. I think I read something about that once. Reverse sexual imprinting. We'll find out in a few years, I suppose."

"And that's why you didn't kill Jacob for imprinting on me when I was an infant?" I guessed.

My mother laughed sheepishly. "Well…I nearly did. If Seth hadn't gotten in the way…but if I hadn't already learned of a platonic form of imprinting, even just while the child was young, then I would have reacted a lot worse than I did."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, honestly curious. _Of course_ Seth would put himself between a vengeful newborn vampire and his friend. He hadn't told me about his heroic rescue. I'd have to ask him about it at some point.

My mother sighed and bit her lip, troubled. "I have been doing a lot of thinking since I found out about the wedding and your support of it. I talked with your father, too, who despite the expectation of gaining Jacob as a son-in-law – which he would have liked – supported your decision to stand back and watch Leah and Jacob marry."

"That's good of him," I said, surprised. He was the only one who absolutely knew the truth and while he had promised me that he wouldn't tell anyone else, I hadn't expect him to actually defend me. My father could be pretty cool, sometimes.

My mother smiled wistfully. "He's always been too damn noble for his own good. It's frankly a miracle that we ever got to this point." She hesitated. "I hurt Jacob, Nessie, I hurt him a lot. I didn't mean to but I did. I don't want to say that I ever led him on but he was there for me when I needed him, when your father had left. He loved me. I told him I just wanted to be friends because it was too soon after the breakup and I wasn't over your father and he said that it was okay. I think he was expecting that once I'd recovered I'd eventually go to him."

"There's only so much you can do when someone just won't listen," I said, a little annoyed.

My mother nodded. "I know. To be fair, though, if Alice hadn't seen me jump off a cliff but failed to see Jacob saving me and your father found out, convinced himself I was dead, and went off to go get himself killed thus prompting Alice to go find me and bring me to Italy to save him, I probably would ended up with him eventually."

"And those events really seemed unlikely at the time," I remarked.

"They seem unlikely _now_," my mother replied. "Things are better now but werewolves and vampires were really seen as mortal enemies back then. They feared and somewhat hated each other and frankly if it hadn't been for me, Victoria's overwhelming desire to kill me, and the fact that half of the pack was willing to kill me to prevent you from being born then that probably wouldn't have changed."

I made a face at yet another mention of how I almost died before I was even born. "Lovely."

"Once I had gone back to Edward, Jacob couldn't accept that," my mother revealed. "It put a strain on our friendship for a long time and your father certainly wasn't happy about my wanting to keep in contact with a werewolf. In fact, he…well, you wouldn't be happy to hear about that but suffice to say he was very adamant that I not go and see Jacob. We worked it out eventually but Jacob had difficulty with my decision to become a vampire right after I graduated. He said he'd rather I just died."

I gasped. "He _what_?"

"I know," my mother commiserated. "And I'm going to skip over what happened next because you wouldn't like that part, either. He ran away when he found out that I was marrying your father but came back in time to dance with me at my wedding…only to run away again after finding out I intended to sleep with your father as a human before being turned. Humans weren't meant to carry half-vampire babies and my pregnancy was not easy on me, to say the least. Being around me hurt Jacob, had hurt him since the moment I returned from Italy with your father at my side. I could see that, everyone could see that. Leah was even brave enough to yell at me about it, despite how pissed everyone got at her."

"Leah fears nothing," I said proudly.

"Evidently," my mother agreed, chuckling. "I didn't want to hurt him and yet…somehow I just couldn't let him go, especially once I became pregnant. Eventually, we figured that this was because of you. Once I calmed down about the whole imprinting business, I started to see it as sort of a good thing. I could never give Jacob what he wanted but you could. It was as close to a happy ending as we could have gotten. I got my husband, my vampire family, and even a wonderful daughter and Jacob could be happy with the daughter of the woman he loved and lost and we could still be in each other's lives."

"But it didn't work out that way," I said softly. I wish it had but it hadn't and if Jacob was supposed to end up with me for his happily ever after then it made even more sense to let him choose his own.

My mother shook her head ruefully. "It didn't. I think that I've been so focused on making things right with Jacob after putting him through so much, even if he never really blamed me, and on making sure that you could be happy with a man who would dote on you forever that I forgot to stop and think about what you two actually wanted."

I wasn't sure what to say. "Mom…"

"I guess what I really want to say is that I'm sorry, Nessie," my mother apologized. "Can you forgive me?"

"Absolutely!" I said immediately, relieved that it seemed that she'd finally come around to my side after all. I jumped up and gave her a hug, which she gladly returned.

After a few minutes, she let me go. "I've been looking forward to you becoming a couple for most of your life," she cautioned me, "and so don't expect that I'll be able to change that overnight but I'm willing to make an effort to be happy for Jacob and Leah. And for you once you find someone that you love and want to spend forever with."

I smiled at her. "Thank you. You really have no idea how much that means to me."

"I think I do," my mother replied. "You have no idea how many times I had to get Charlie to reassure me that no, he didn't hate me for my life choices in becoming a vampire and staying eighteen forever. I think I was actually starting to annoy him by the time that I was convinced."

"What about everyone else?" I asked her. "Having you and dad on my side should help but I'm not sure it will magically change their minds."

"Well, it's mostly just Rosalie that has a problem with it and Emmett wants to fight a werewolf," my mother explained. "But don't worry, I can handle her."

"Thank you," I said again. I was saying that a lot but having her support, however tentative, would certainly make this a lot easier. It was one thing to _say_ that I was just going to watch the wedding happen but the closer it got to the date, the more real this all became and something told me that standing up at the front of the church with the other bridesmaids and watching Jacob marrying someone who was distinctly not me all while smiling happily was going to be an exercise in self-control unlike any I've ever gone through.

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	11. The Rehearsal

Chapter Eleven: The Rehearsal

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

It took awhile for the wedding rehearsal to get under way because who should be waiting at the church doors when we arrived but Rebecca Black herself? Or at least I assumed it was Rebecca Black. She looked just like Rachel did, after all, but she had much shorter hair. Rachel, Leah, and Emily practically pounced on the girl and even Jacob hugged her like he was never planning on letting her go.

"You guys are starting to make me feel guilty for not coming up since Rachel's wedding," Rebecca complained, making a face.

"Then our nefarious plan is working," Jacob said gleefully, rubbing his hands together.

"You guys could come down and see me," Rebecca pointed out.

Leah laughed. "Please. You've seen ticket prices. As long as they're high enough to be a legitimate excuse for you staying away, they're too high for all of us to fly down."

"You could at least chip in on my airfare," Rebecca hinted.

"We'll consider it," Rachel promised. "So, where's Jack and Bridgette?"

"Oh, they checked into the hotel," Rebecca explained. "Bridgette's still so young and Jack's not even in the wedding so I figured that they didn't need to be here for this."

"I still can't believe you booked a hotel," Jacob said, shaking his head. "Leah and I offered to let you stay with us, Rachel and Paul offered to let you stay with them, and Dad offered to let you stay with him, too."

Rebecca shrugged. "Yeah, I know. I didn't want to be in the way, though."

"Oh, you wouldn't have been in the way at all!" Emily insisted. "Sam and I offered to let her stay with us, too," she said by way of explanation.

"It's things like this that make the trip so expensive," Jacob said pointedly.

"And that's my problem," Rebecca said flippantly. "I wasn't going to miss my baby brother's wedding!" She caught sight of me. "And who is this?"

"Nessie Cullen," I introduced myself, holding my hand out for a handshake. It was a little odd to finally meet her. I hadn't been invited to Rachel's wedding and I was so young back then anyway. I knew so much about her family but she had a hold on them, too, and I could tell how much they missed her.

She accepted it and grasped my hand firmly. "Ah. I must say, you're hand's much warmer than I expected it would be, you know, considering."

"Considering _what_, exactly?" Jacob asked dangerously.

"Considering the fact that she's half-vampires," Rebecca replied unflinchingly. "Although I must say, I really don't understand how that's possible. It requires not only sperm – which have very short life-spans – to have survived inside an animated corpse for nearly a century but also for becoming a vampire to somehow change one's DNA or she would have been born human."

"My sister the scientist," Rachel said proudly.

"_Rachel_!" Jacob exclaimed, horrified. "What ever happened to 'don't tell anybody'?"

"Rebecca isn't _anybody_," Rachel argued. "She's Rebecca."

"We wouldn't have even told you if Paul hadn't imprinted!" Jacob cried out.

Rachel glared at him. "I know and I think I've made my feelings on that quite clear. Besides, I really didn't have a choice. You can't keep something this big from your twin."

"But I specifically told you not to! Sam specifically told you not to! Hell, even _Paul_ specifically told you not to!" Jacob burst out.

Rachel shrugged. "So? In case you didn't notice, I'm not one of your werewolves so I didn't have to listen to you, _little brother_. And it's not like I told the world, I just told our sister who really should have been told a long time ago. I'm not going to go around telling everybody."

Jacob sighed. "I guess it's too late to do anything about it _now_."

He then started muttering about how Alpha orders should work on everybody and we went into the church.

As Leah had six bridesmaids, Jacob chose six groomsmen. As Sam, Jared, Embry, and Paul had significant others among the bridesmaids, they were picked. Seth was also a shoe-in since he was Leah's brother and Quil was one of Jacob's best friends. Seth said that Jacob hadn't been able to choose which of his two best friends should be the best man and so they flipped for it and evidently Embry had won as he stood there besides Jacob, grinning smugly at Quil. I guess the rest of the pack were just out of luck.

The rehearsal itself went off without a hitch though it was a little boring. I didn't have any lines so I just practiced walking down the aisle with Seth. Emily and Embry had to walk down the aisle with each other instead of with their spouse like Kim and Jared or Rachel and Paul. Sam doesn't like me basically for existing and so he paired up with Rebecca and as Embry's best friend, Quil walked with Angela.

I was a little surprised that there were no problems because there are _always _incidence when more than one werewolf get together, never mind eight of them but I guess nobody really wanted to be there so they were all very well-behaved. Even Paul.

The bridesmaid dress fit as perfectly as I knew it would since my body is going to stay exactly the same for at least a century and a half more if Nahuel is any indication. I thought that we all looked very nice and the werewolves cleaned up nicely as well. With so many of them so close together, I do have to admit that I sort of saw where my family was coming from as far as the smell went…not that I was planning on sharing that with anyone. Ah, the wonders of having the one person who could read my mind not present.

After the rehearsal was over, we went back to Emily and Sam's place for the rehearsal dinner. Not only did the werewolves really just want more of Emily's food and not something a restaurant served (that poor woman. How does she keep up with their constant demand for food?) but there were so many of us that we'd have to have booked a restaurant in advance and even then they'd probably hate us.

Paul swore up and down that when a party big enough to cause the obligatory tip ratio to factor in (which we were certainly big enough for) then the waiters always spat in the customer's food. Paul was a waiter himself back in high school so I suppose he would know. Then again, it might just be Paul. That was what Seth seemed to think at any rate.

I glanced over at Leah. She looked happy, like all of her worries about me deciding to ruin her wedding after all had just melted away. I figured that they would be back again before the ceremony and afterwards it would probably shift to her worried I'd ruin her marriage. I wondered why it was that she didn't seem worried about Jacob doing anything since he's the one who imprinted in the first place so I was the center of _his_ universe and not the other way around. Was it because he had made his choice so as long as I appeared uninterested then she knew he'd be able to stick with it?

I wanted to tell her. I wanted more than anything to be able to reassure her that nothing would happen. As of right now, Leah believed that I did not have feelings for her husband-to-be. I knew she wouldn't be _happy_, exactly, to find out that she was wrong but in a way I thought it might reassure her as well. She worried that I would change my mind and suddenly get feelings for her husband and while I think she trusted my good intentions on that front (as she trusted Jacob's), once it actually happened she didn't think I could keep my promise. If she knew that I already felt that way and was as determined as ever to not cause a scene or make things complicated then she could rest easier.

Of course, knowing her then she'd start to worry that my feelings would overpower me and I'd ruin it anyway.

It didn't matter, though, because I couldn't tell her. I wanted to, and to tell her that I knew that one day I'd move on but I couldn't.

See, Leah hasn't completely stopped phasing yet, even if she very rarely does it and one simply cannot keep secrets while in wolf form. If I told Leah then sooner or later it would get back to Jacob and all of my restraint will have been for nothing.

It feels a little egotistical to think that on a whim I could destroy such a happy and loving relationship that is just tomorrow going to culminate in a wedding. Still, it's not like I got that idea from nowhere. _Everyone_ seems to think that if I said anything, this wedding would be off in a heartbeat (which I think is actually quite insulting to Jacob) and if I weren't his imprint then my saying something would just make things awkward and embarrass everyone.

He looks happy. He IS happy. Just one more day and it stops being even slightly okay to think of him like that. Just one more day and I'll really need to start moving on.

Emily's house is absolutely overflowing with food and I honestly don't know when she had time to make it all because I'm pretty sure it wasn't already made when we left for the bachelorette party and we only had so much time before we had to get to the church for the rehearsal. Even if she spent all that time cooking, how could she possibly have…? The woman is a miracle worker. And what's more, I think that her cooking ability – not just the quality but the quantity – must be some kind of super power. I'd feel a bit odd about calling something food-relating a super power but Uncle Embry has assured me that it could be.

Little Claire ran up to me excitedly. "I get to be the flower girl!" she declared, as if I had somehow managed to be unaware of this fact.

The thing about Claire is that she is technically three or so years older than me and yet you could never tell it no matter what you measured us in…well, besides the year we were born, I suppose. I'm taller than she is, I'm more mature than she is, I'm full grown while she's not, I have an adult brain and she doesn't…really, in all the ways that matter I'm older. I wonder if her normal-timed childhood will make her a more adjusted individual when she's caught up to me.

"Yes you are," I agreed.

"That's one of the best parts of the wedding," Claire announced.

"It is?" I asked rhetorically.

Claire nodded. "Yep. And the most important."

"How do you figure _that_?" I asked, trying to keep a straight face.

"The flower girl goes first," Claire said matter-of-factly. "So without her, there's no wedding."

Privately, I felt that the wedding party could easily work around this difficulty but there was really no need to spoil Claire's excitement. "So you have an important job to do tomorrow."

Claire nodded solemnly. "I'll do the best job ever," she promised.

I smiled at that and Quil and Seth came over.

"Hey, Claire, they're breaking out the board games," Quil told her. "Do you want to play?"

"Yes!" Claire cried out, grabbing a hold of Quil's hand. "Let's go!"

Quil waved to us as he led Claire to the games.

"I have…kind of a weird question," I said slowly. "And you're the only one that I can ask who wouldn't think I was judging them or anything."

"Sounds promising," Seth said, half-laughing.

"Do…do Claire's parents know? About Quil?" I clarified.

Seth sobered immediately. "That is quite the question."

"I mean, I understand if you don't want to discuss it-" I hurriedly started to say.

"No, no," Seth assured me. "It's fine. That's just still not a situation we really know how to handle yet. No, Claire's parents don't know. We don't think they'd let Claire around him if they did."

It occurred to me that since Claire was a child, if her parents didn't (or wouldn't, if they knew) want someone around their daughter then it really was their right. Saying that would probably not go over very well, however, even with Seth.

"I know what you're thinking," Seth told me.

"You do?" I asked skeptically.

"You're thinking that if Claire's parents wouldn't want Quil around then Quil should respect their wishes," Seth replied. Okay, so maybe he does know me pretty well after all.

"I really wasn't," I lied.

"If you say so…Quil's said that a few times. He's terrified they'll think he's a pedophile, you know, even if he really isn't. And don't even get him drunk unless you want to hear all about how he's convinced that Claire's parents are going to kill him and he wonders if he deserves it and how will he ever explain it to them," Seth said, sighing.

"So he talks about this a lot, huh?" I asked rhetorically.

Seth shook his head. "He really killed the mood at the bachelor party, I've got to tell you. Jacob was really glad that he'd picked Embry to be the best man at that point."

"So what do you think?" I inquired. "You know far more about this kind of thing than I do."

Seth was quiet for a moment, trying to sort out his thoughts. "I told him there wasn't much point worrying about what will happen when he falls in love with her one day until she's old enough for him to fall in love with because until then, he's not doing anything _anyone_ would think is wrong. He says that the fact he expects that it will happen is bad enough but I think the fact that he is so worried is a good sign and that if he always feels that it would be wrong, even when she's older, that he just won't end up with her and nobody will need to be told anything."

I nodded. "When did you get to be so wise?"

"I was born that way," Seth said modestly. "According to the others, I'm lucky. I haven't imprinted on anyone but even if I did, I'm not in a relationship so I don't have to worry about not meeting new people like Embry."

"I think he might be going just a bit overboard about that," I remarked.

Seth shrugged. "Meh. He's not hurting anybody and it's kind of funny."

"Do you want to imprint?" I asked him curiously.

"No," he replied immediately. "I think it would take all the fun out of dating if you knew you were going to marry your girlfriend from the moment you saw her. Then again, if I imprinted then I probably wouldn't care. That it wouldn't bother me bothers me now."

"Do you think that her parents would have a harder time accepting that Quil just one day fell in love with a girl he watched grow up or that he's had a long-standing imprint on her?" I asked idly.

"I have no idea," Seth confessed. "Knowing Quil, it doesn't matter because he'd insist on being honest."

"Remind me to be far away from the reservation should that day ever come," I requested.

Seth gave me a confused look. "Are you still planning to be around then? It's at least five years away, maybe more."

Oh, right. "I don't know," I admitted. "I haven't really planned that far ahead."

"Well, if you do decide to stay then I, for one, will be glad to spend more time with you," Seth told me.

"That makes…two," I joked. "Maybe three if I don't manage to piss off your sister."

"Ah, it's not as bad as all that!" Seth insisted.

I snorted.

"Really," he said earnestly. "Take Quil, for example, he's really inspired by the fact you're not marrying Jacob."

I frowned, confused. "In what way, exactly?"

"It's giving him hope that he won't have to end up falling in love with someone he currently feels very awkward imagining himself marrying," Seth explained. "After all, Jacob didn't. And even if he does end up with her, you'll have saved him a lot of worry until the day he deems it no longer weird and she does the same."

I felt a little awkward. There was a good chance Jacob didn't love me because I was lying to him. Would Claire need to do the same? "Do you want to go join the board game?" I asked him. "What game are they playing anyway?"

"Monopoly," Seth replied, playfully linking his arm through mine. "And I thought you'd never ask."

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	12. The Wedding

Chapter Twelve: The Wedding

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

My father woke me up early that morning, the day of the wedding.

I've tried alarm clocks but I'm really not a morning person and so if I can reach it from bed then I'll just turn it off without being conscious of it and going back to sleep. I actually had that problem with the alarm clocks I had to get up to turn off but it was much less frequent. No, the problem was that it apparently took me too long to get up and turn them off and the noise was annoying my family. It's part of the charm of being the only one in the family to sleep.

But I can understand their annoyance, to be honest. I used to wake up when I heard the soft sound that indicated that the alarm was about to start blaring. As a sort of compromise – so no would have to listen to the sound and I could wake up on time – we decided that as long as I was living with one of them and they didn't want to deal with the alarm clock, one of them would wake me up. If no one was going to be home, I'd be free to use the alarm clock. Truth be told, it's a better system for all of us.

When he opened the curtains and sent sun streaming into my window – a good for a wedding, it seemed, but a bad day for my family – I had my head hidden under the blankets almost before I realized it. I was never a morning person but on this day in particular I really didn't want to get out of bed.

It occurred to me that this might actually be the worst day of my life. I know that anyone declaring that something is the worst day of their life always sounds a bit overdramatic and pretentious but I'm honestly at a loss to think of a day that's been worse. Yes, watching the man I love marry someone else is going to be a bad day for anyone but the absolute worst? It really brings home just how sheltered I've been growing up and how fortunate. It still doesn't mean I want to do this and now I'm feeling spoiled.

"Come on, Nessie," my father said gently. "Today's a big day."

"It's an _early_ day," I complained groggily.

"Your mother was never this difficult to get up," my father noted idly. "I wonder if I was."

"I'm _not_ difficult to get up," I insisted, squeezing my eyes shut and forcing myself to sit up in bed.

My father laughed incredulously. "Right. Left to your own devices, you would sleep through the wedding."

I cocked my head, considering.

My father lowered his voice. "Are you sure about this, Nessie?"

"More or less," I replied, shrugging.

"Because if you're not-" he continued.

"Dad, it's fine," I interrupted. "I said I was going to do this and I meant it and I'm going to do this."

Then my father did something that surprised me. He reached out his hand for me to take and then pulled me to my feet before drawing me close for a hug. "I'm proud of you, Renesmee."

I managed a small smile. At least someone knew what I was doing. The worst part, I think, of deciding not to pursue something that you think could make you happy for the sake of other people is when no one even notices. I guess having a telepathic father isn't _all_ bad. "Thank you."

"I tried to do what you did but in the end I couldn't do it and it didn't get anywhere near this far," my father continued. "Your mother didn't even call Jacob her boyfriend."

"I think it all worked out for the best," I replied, shrugging. I was, after all, quite grateful for my existence.

My father smiled. "Perhaps," he allowed. "I want you to know that I'm here for you if you need me and if you end up having to leave I will make your excuses."

I nodded. I hoped that it wouldn't come to that but it would be nice to know all the all the same.

* * *

My family had to be a bit creative getting into the church and then fix their hair once inside but they pulled it off like the experts they are.

Leah, Rachel, and Emily were still riding high from having Rebecca there and for her part she seemed to enjoy the attention, even as she kept reminding them that Leah was supposed to be the focus.

At one point, in the middle of all the chaotic running around and getting ready (because no matter how well you prepare, and Emily certainly _did_ a wonderfully job of preparing, these things are apparently always chaotic), Leah just stopped everything and turned to look at me. "This is really happening, isn't it?" she asked, looking almost dazed.

I forced a grin at her. "This is really happening."

The biggest mishap was when Paul knocked on the door of the bridal room and insisted that his tie was trying to kill him and so he would not put it on and it would be 'unseemly' for any of the guys to put it on him. Leah threatened to kill him if he messed up her wedding photos and Paul challenged her ability to do so without him seeing her and reporting back to Jacob or, failing that, without ruining the wedding dress. I have to say, Leah was coming up with some pretty interesting ideas by the time Rachel rolled her eyes and left the room to deal with him.

Emily sent me out to find out how long we had until the wedding was supposed to start and I heard voices coming from an empty room I was walking past…admittedly much slower after I happened to hear the conversation.

"You know, Bells, weddings are supposed to be a _good_ thing," Jacob was saying, sounding amused.

"I'm pretty sure I said that same thing on my wedding day," my mother replied pointedly. "You rather disagreed."

"That was different; you were dying," Jacob insisted.

"And I got better," my mother said flippantly.

"I'm not sure 'better' is the word I would use-ouch! Just kidding, geez," Jacob said, laughing. "I'm glad you've finally come around on this, Bella. It would feel weird not to have you here."

"Oh, absolutely. To have one of us not at the other one's wedding would just be terrible," my mother agreed pleasantly.

Jacob groaned. "You're never going to let that go, are you?"

"Why not?" my mother asked rhetorically. "I've got the time."

"Would you mind if I asked why you did change your mind?" Jacob asked hesitantly, as if afraid that he wasn't going to like the answer he would get.

"I just realized that since Nessie was fine with it and _she's_ your soul mate, it would be petty of me to keep opposing it," my mother explained. "I really do just want you to be happy, Jacob. That's all I've ever wanted. Well, that and for you to help me engage in near-death incidents so that I could hallucinate Edward but I'm in a much healthier place now."

"I'll say," Jacob muttered. "Ow! But listen, I still feel like things aren't quite settled…how about we arrange for my first-born son to end up with Nessie one day? It's the perfect solution!"

My mother laughed. "Oh, absolutely. Nothing could _possibly_ go wrong there."

Smiling myself and shaking my head, I continued on my way.

* * *

The wedding was absolutely beautiful.

Leah looked angelic as she floated down the aisle, which was both lovely and the last thing you would have ever expected from Leah Clearwater, the scariest woman I know. Jacob's eyes lit up as he looked at her and he didn't glance my way once during the ceremony. That was a good sign, I though. Not a happy one but a good one. Claire was an adorable flower girl, even though she was a bit older than they usually are.

Neither of them was the type to write long, flowery vows (which almost seems a hobby in my family) so they just repeated the traditional vows. Emily looked knowingly at me when the preacher didn't say anything about how if anyone had any objections then they should speak now. It's not like I was about to say anything after all this and even Aunt Rosalie had come around on the issue…mostly because she realized that she could get out of having to put up with even more 'wet dog smell.'

They had actually rented out a place to have the reception which was nice. I managed to snag Emily long enough to learn that she hadn't quite won the argument about getting to make everything but she'd certainly done her fair share of the cooking. Whatever made her happy, I suppose.

I knew that Grandma Esme loved cooking as well but it's not like she had anywhere near as much demand. She had been so excited when I was born because she thought she'd have someone to feed on a regular basis and finally get to put her kitchen to good use. It's because of that that I've never had the heart to admit to her how much I truly despise human food. I'm sure she's picked up on it as I can usually just get by with her only making me two or three meals a week and she enjoys feeding me more than I hate eating so I can usually manage to choke it down.

I saw Quil helping Claire fill up her glass again and Embry pointedly refusing to look at anyone but Angela as they glided across the dance floor. Love did lead to the strangest of situations, I guess.

I was sitting down alone for the moment and very slowly making my way through the smallest piece of wedding cake that I had seen. I figured that it was traditional and my first wedding so it was the right thing to do. Jacob and Leah were making the rounds and finally approached my table.

"Hey, is everything alright?" Jacob asked, concerned. The smile on his face faded a little.

I nodded. "Oh, yes. I just didn't want anyone either staring at me because of how long it's taking me to eat this or complaining that I actually _can_ eat this and I don't appear to be enjoying it enough."

Jacob shook his head in mock-sadness. "Really, we've managed to gather werewolves and vampires here with no incident to celebrate a wedding and we _still_ feel the need to mock people for how they eat?"

"Well, some people do eat kind of ridiculous and are just asking for it," Leah told him.

Jacob let out a startled laugh. "Leah!"

"What?" she asked, unrepentant. "You saw Jared and Paul's little contest earlier where they put their hands behind their back and attempted to eat the lasagna, right?"

"Okay, so maybe that deserved a _little_ mocking," Jacob admitted reluctantly. "But not eating too slowly or not being happy enough about it."

"Do you remember that time last week where you and Paul had a contest to see who could make the cookies Emily gave you last longer?" Leah asked rhetorically.

"There was nothing strange about that!" Jacob insisted.

Leah rolled her eyes. "Please. If you were being even remotely objective…"

"So do all of these stories involve Paul?" I inquired.

Jacob and Leah exchanged a glance. "It's Paul," they said in unison as if that explained everything.

"I noticed that you two didn't smash cake into each other's faces," I remarked. "I had read that that was a tradition."

"Not all traditions have to be followed," Jacob said slowly, glancing at Leah.

"Meaning that I was very clear about the fact that it took me hours to get my hair and makeup done and this dress was very expensive so if he tried anything then we would have problems," Leah said pleasantly. "The sorts of problems that you really don't want when you're going on your honeymoon."

"That and we weren't entirely sure that even could smash cake in each other's faces without starting a food fight and kind of ruining the reception," Jacob added. "And while your mother might call it karma, I'd really rather avoid something like that."

"We need more mature friends," Leah said, shaking her head ruefully. "Oh wait, it's not _my _friends that are the problem."

"They're _our_ friends," Jacob claimed.

"Not when they're threatening food fights, they aren't," Leah countered.

Jacob crossed his arms. "Oh, I see how it is."

"Between the two of us, which one is more likely to start a food fight?" Leah asked pointedly.

Jacob looked awkward and so I gave him an escape.

"So you two are heading to Hawaii for your honeymoon?" I asked them. They wouldn't have been able to afford a cruise there and back but my parents figured that if you can't give people expensive presents at weddings then you'd never get a chance to. It said something about how much that Leah and Jacob wanted a nice honeymoon that they accepted without comment.

Jacob nodded, looking grateful. "Yeah, it should be really nice. Rebecca made us promise to look her up and we can see where she lives. Rachel's jealous as hell."

"That's just what she gets for not inviting us to her wedding," I sniffed.

"She said she's definitely going to invite you to the baby shower if she has another kid," Leah told me.

"Why would a baby need to go to Hawaii?" I asked innocently.

Jacob snorted. "_Everyone_ needs to go to Hawaii, Nessie. That's why it's Hawaii."

We talked for a little while longer before the happy couple had to continue to greet the guests.

I watched them together. They really fit. Between the imprint and their various issues, I knew that theirs couldn't have been an angst-free relationship but today they looked happy. Extremely happy. This was probably the best day of their lives and despite the temptation I hadn't done a damn thing to spoil that. They had better be happy together because if they weren't and all of this turned out to be for nothing then I would not be held accountable for my actions.

I almost didn't notice Seth sitting down next to me until he picked up the last bit of my cake and popped it into his mouth.

"Seth!" I cried out, lightly hitting him on the arm.

He quickly swallowed. "What?" he asked innocently.

"I was eating that!" I protested.

Seth snorted. "That's debatable. It looked more like you were hoping that if you stared at it long enough it would go away. You should really thank me. All I did was grant your wish."

I laughed. "My very own fairy wolf-mother."

Seth made a face. "Don't call me that where anyone can hear you, okay?"

"No promises," I replied.

"You know, that was a good thing you did," Seth said seriously.

"What was?" I asked him. "Calling you a fairy wolf-mother?"

"Not that, definitely not that," Seth said quickly.

"Then what?" I inquired.

"Being so great about this whole wedding thing," Seth said earnestly. "Thank you. I mean it."

"You're thanking me for not being in love with Jacob and so not being petty enough to want him to be single even though I don't want him?" I asked incredulously.

Seth rolled his eyes. "Well, when you put it _that_ way…Look, I don't know how you feel about Jacob. You say you don't love him and I guess I believe that. If you do and you just watched him marry my sister then you're not just a good person, you're a freaking _saint_ and the thought of a vampire saint just might make my head explode."

"Half-vampire saint," I corrected.

"Not really making it any better," Seth informed me. "But even if you really are completely platonic towards him, you still didn't have to spend so much time and energy on this and on helping my sister believe that she really could have this. She really needed that after...Look, Leah's been through a lot and I really hate that. So thank you."

"You're welcome," I said simply. What else was there to say? Even without knowing the exact details, Seth seemed to appreciate my sacrifice anyway. That was nice.

"So," Seth said casually, grinning at me. "Care to dance?"

I glanced over at Jacob and Leah again who were themselves out on the dance floor. She was laughing at something that he'd said and he was beaming because he'd made her smile.

That chapter of my life was over, if it had ever really begun.

And the best way to move on, I figured, was to continue to live.

I took Seth's hand.

"I'd love to."

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